


The Road Less Traveled

by OptimusCrime (almcvay1)



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: F/M, Gen, Inspired by Skyrim, Modded Skyrim, POV Alternating, Skyrim Spoilers, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-06-02 08:42:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 40,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19437922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/almcvay1/pseuds/OptimusCrime
Summary: Natalia Stormsinger struck out on her own. Leaving her family farm in Cyrodil, she sought her own way in the world. The Divines alone could only know what waited for her. Finding your destiny, your family and hopefully, love along the way.





	1. Long Way from Home

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy. So, I blame a guild-friend for getting me into modded Skyrim. Kaidan is brilliant and the property of LivTempleton. Lucien is the creation of JosephRussell. Skyrim belongs to Bethesda, of course. This is my first foray into Skyrim fic, so we'll take it slow and see how it goes. All your favorite tropes and some variations on same! Leave a word, if this strikes your fancy. (Also, credit for the title to Robert Frost)

Natalia Stormsinger sat at the edge of the cave on the steep hillside and waited for the rain to stop. The rain seemed incessant since she crossed the border into Skyrim. Her tiny campfire sputtered and smoked, making her eyes water. Not for the first time, she wished she had stayed home in Cyrodil. 

The cold seemed to sink further into her bones as she pictured her family farm in Cheydinhall, with its rolling golden fields and tidy stone farmhouse. She cursed herself as three times a fool to have wandered so far on a restless need to be on her own. And now here she was, shivering in a cave, bargaining with Kyne to make the rain stop. 

“I need the wilds and the wind in my face, I am happiest in the forest among the trees, “ she muttered to herself under her breath. Mocking the reasons she had given her family for wanting to strike out on her journey to the north. By the time she got to Bruma, she began to have some doubts about how well this whole idea was going to play out. 

An able swordswoman thanks to her older brother, she had fended off the bandit that had tried to rob her, and the wolves that had stalked her campsite in the forests of northern Cyrodil. But the logic didn’t follow that she would be able to take on anything bigger and hope to survive. The healing spells her sister had taught her were helpful though. That last wolf had taken a bite out of her left arm as she’d stabbed it in the throat. She was tired and bloody and dirty. The enchanted jewelry she wore (to help her carry her pack, plus weapons) was crusted in filth and her clothes were torn in a dozen places. All of these issues would need to be addressed if she hoped to sell any of the herbs she’d gathered to anyone. No respectable merchant would let her stand in his shop as she was.

Natalia pulled her pack closer to the fire to examine her finds. A good amount of tundra cotton, plenty of Mountain Flowers and thistle. All sure to fetch a decent price as they were used in healing and protective magicks. The chunk of emerald and ruby she’d found outside a disused mine entrance were a lucky strike. For a moment, she had considered entering the mine itself, but the discarded ale bottles and animal carcasses told her that such would be pure folly. She had moved on, slightly richer and definitely safer. Maybe if she found a blacksmith who was willing to let her work in their forge, she could make some pretty jewelry to sell. The blacksmith on the Stormsinger farm had shown all of the children some of the skills used to craft jewelry and weapons, even armor. Natalia was the only one who was interested enough to go back for further lessons. The rings and necklace she wore now were her own design, though the enchantments were her sister’s work. 

She pulled out a wooden bowl and set it outside in the rain. Might as well collect some to refill the water skins and wash herself as best she could. Night was falling, so it looked like the shallow cave was going to be home tonight.

Later she unfastened her bedroll and laid it out by the small fire. The rain was moving off finally, and the stars were coming out. The water skins were filled, her face and hands were clean, and tomorrow would be another day. Whispering prayers to Stendarr for protection and mercy, Natalia fell into an exhausted sleep.


	2. The World Ends in Fire

When she woke it was with a gasping scream, sitting bolt upright in her bed roll. The sun had not yet cleared the horizon and the mist hung heavy still. The dreams had been plaguing her for more than a week. Fire and voices that throbbed with power, speaking a language that wasn't her own, yet she somehow understood it. Her mother had often told her that dreams were the mind's way of working through problems. Natalia couldn't imagine how any of her current dilemmas could be resolved in fire. At least, she hoped not. 

The sun was skimming the mountain peaks in the distance as she finished packing up her camp. Consulting her map, she headed north on the road, and soon she followed a smaller trail into the forest, hoping to find some lavender or nightshade. Distantly she heard the sounds of people, men mostly, so she slid her dagger out of her belt sheath. Hopefully it wasn't a group of bandits. Natalia made her way through the forest, trying to get away from the sounds, or find a place to hide. 

As she cleared a stand of trees, she stared in surprise at a group of Imperial soldiers. A startled exclamation was all she uttered, the blow to her head came from behind and she slid to the ground, unconscious.

The rocking motion of the wagon made her feel vaguely ill as she stirred finally. Her hands were bound in front of her, her pack was nowhere to be seen. Four other men were sitting across from her. Three wearing the uniform of the Stormcloak rebellion, one was gagged. The other in ragged clothes looked as frightened as she felt.

"Hey you. So you're finally awake? Guess you stumbled into the Imperial ambush same as us, and that horse thief."

"Who are you? Why is that man gagged?"

"Watch your manner. You speak of Ulfric Stormcloak, the true High King of Skyrim."

Natalia shook her head, trying to clear it. Whoever had hit her earlier had done a thorough job. They thought she was a rebel? Or a thief? That was ridiculous! Her brother served in the Imperial Legion with honors. Of course, he was in Cyrodil, so that was no help. She had little faith that this group of soldiers would simply believe that she was who she claimed. 

The Stormcloak was talking to the horse thief, who was panicking in earnest now. Praying to all the Divines as the wagon rolled toward the gates of a town. She saw more Imperial soldiers milling around, as they finally stopped in the center, near the tower. A priest of the Divines waited, and an executioner. 

Natalia said some quick prayers of her own, to anyone who would listen. A cold sweat trickled down her spine as they were directed out of the wagon. The officer in charge consulted a list as each Stormcloak disembarked. The horse thief hit the ground and took off running, and she sighed for the idiot as he met his untimely end in a hail of arrows. Her voice was cracking as she gave her name to the officer.

"Natalia Stormsinger. Cheydinhall, Cyrodil"

He seemed perplexed, he looked at his list and then shouted to the commanding officer.

"This girl isn't on the list."

"Forget the list, she goes to the block with the rest."

For a moment, she could see the regret in the eyes of the older man. He seemed sorry about her fate.

"We will make sure your body is returned to Cheydinhall for burial rites."

Blind panic set in now, and she fought down the choking sensation as she watched one of the rebels march up to the block with more swagger than sense. The sound the axe made as it sliced through the midday air was a sound that would haunt her for...well for about two minutes, since she was about to die. 

Forcing her legs to stop shaking, she lifted her chin in defiance. She would not be dragged to her death like an animal to slaughter. Her ancestors would not need to be ashamed of her. She prayed with all her being that it would be swift. The walk was short and as she knelt before the block, already soaked in blood, she heard a strange sound. Craning her neck to look up, the others around her now exclaimed in alarm.

"What is that?" 

A huge black shape perched on the tower, Natalia got a glimpse of outstretched wings, scales as black as hagraven feathers, but that glimpse was shortlived as a blast of fire blotted out everything else. Chaos ensued. 

She stood, shaky, but alive. The two Stormcloaks were running into the tower. She followed them, but ran up the stairs instead. They knew she was an Imperial and they'd probably kill her, if the dragon didn't do it first. There was an opening in the stone wall and the roof of a house below. She swallowed hard and cast herself into the air. For a moment, she felt as though she flew, but she landed hard on the thatched roof. The dragon was still flying in low circles, the small town was on fire. From her perch, she could see countless bodies on the ground. Her hands flew to her mouth as tears sprang to her eyes. 

Damn it, Natalia, there's no time for this, she swore at herself as she scrambled to the hole in the roof, dropping down just as that huge black shadow passed over her. Her hands were still bound, making everything harder. The officer who had taken her name was right outside, trying to gather the men together to fight or escape. He saw her as she emerged from the house.

"Still alive? Good. Follow me, we need to get to the keep."

They slipped between the houses, making their way to the keep door. Once on the other side they both collapsed into chairs. 

"What, in the Divines, was that?" Her voice was little more than a screech. Smoke and heat had abraded her throat. She knew she was probably burned and cut in a dozen places.

"A dragon. Here, let me get you out of those bonds." He cut her hands free with his dagger. Natalia looked into his eyes as he worked, judged his face as honest.

"What's your name?"

"Hadvar. We need to get out of here. There should be some armor in that trunk over there. Take whatever you need."

The trunk held a set of leather Imperial armor. Natalia balked only momentarily. Impersonating a soldier was a crime, but in this case, they would have to make an allowance. They had already attempted to kill her unjustly. She stripped off her ragged clothes and buckled the armor into place. The lightest sword she could find was still heavier than her own, but she attached the scabbard to her belt regardless. Further search in the cupboards and trunks turned up a healing potion or two, a few septims and a knapsack. She took it all. Luckily they left her jewelry on her, so the extra weight of the armor wasn't slowing her down. 

She strapped the pack over her shoulders and followed Hadvar out of the room. 

The sun was sinking lower as they emerged out of the tunnel under the keep, somewhat worse for wear. She thanked the gods for Hadvar, or she'd be a corpse with the rest right now. She was proud of her bear kill though. Luckily she had grabbed the bow and arrows off of a table in a hall. Archery was certainly a better bet for her than close combat. They rested against some rocks, catching their breath.

"So, what now Hadvar?"

"We need to report the dragon attack on Helgen. My uncle Alvor lives nearby in Riverwood, works as a blacksmith. He can take us in for a bit, give us a meal. We'll talk to him and see what he thinks."

"All right, sounds good. I could use a meal."

Natalia adjusted her pack, grabbed her bow and followed the soldier down the road.


	3. What's Past is Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you can see I'm taking a few liberties with dialogue, but trying to stay in the general area of canon. I figure we've all played the game, we don't need a word for word recount. :-) Anyway, hopefully, this chapter moves our story along in a good way.

Natalia used her healing magic for her wounds and Hadvar's as well, but she still had to drink a healing draft to finish the job. She would be sore, but she was not gravely injured.

Hadvar's uncle in Riverwood had a nice forge; Natalia spent some time admiring it and the finished pieces of armor on the table while the men talked. 

Alvor and his family were nice people. They welcomed Natalia into their home and offered food and clean water to wash. Consequently, when they asked her to go on to Whiterun to tell the Jarl what had happened, she could hardly refuse. It was dusk when Natalia hoisted her pack again over shoulders stiff from exertion. The road was a direct route to Whiterun, all she had to do was follow it. 

She kept her sword and bow handy on the journey. There would be wolves in the forest. 

It was a nice night, despite the circumstances, she even found some herbs along the way. Fortunately, only one wolf attacked her and was summarily dispatched. The path wound over the river and through a wooded glade and high on the hill across the water, she could see the imposing outline of a barrow, an ancient Nord temple and burial site. 

It took some fast talking to get past the gates at Whiterun, but apparently surviving a dragon attack is one of those things that will impress even the most jaded guards. It was too late to go up to Dragonsreach, where the Jarl lived, so she got a room at the Bannered Mare. Hoping to grab a few hours of sleep till morning, she laid on the straw mattress and tried to imagine what her family would say if they knew what she'd been through this day. Her parents would be horrified, of course. But if for no other reason than to repay a kindness and hopefully spare some lives, Natalia was committed to her course now; she would not falter. Her heavy eyes soon closed and sleep slid over her like a veil.

Morning found her moving a bit slower, muscles accustomed to farm work were not meant for fighting dragons, bandits, or wolves. But Natalia worked her way back into her armor. Her short dark hair hung limply even after she combed it, but there was nothing for it until she could wash it. She cleaned her face and hands, ate part of a sweet roll that Alvor's wife had given her. It was time to go to Dragonsreach.

There were a million steps to the fortress-cum-castle, and every five of them, a guard would stop and ask where she was headed or offer some other unasked for information. By the time she reached the top, Natalia had rolled her eyes so much she was certain she had seen her own brain. She shoved the heavy doors inward and tried to look less like a vagrant. 

The steward was a small and pompous man, but she dealt with him easily enough. But as she stood before Jarl Balgruuf, her knees wanted to tremble. 

"Jarl, I've come from Riverwood. They request aid against the dragon that attacked Helgen."

"Dragon? You saw this dragon with your own eyes?"

"Yes. I was at Helgen, I saw the town burned to the ground. I escaped with one of the Legion and we made our way to his kinsman, Alvor,in Riverwood."

"Alvor? Good solid fellow, not prone to flights of fancy. And he thinks Riverwood is next?"

"It's all that stands between Helgen and Whiterun."

"I will dispatch extra guards to Riverwood this day. In the meantime, I have something else I hope you can help with. Let’s step over here to talk to my Court Wizard.”

Jarl Blagruuf towered over her when he stood, easily a foot taller than her compact frame. He stepped off the dais and over to the right, to a room Natalia had barely noticed when she came into Dragonsreach. 

“Farengar, I have brought someone to help you.” A man not too much taller than herself, wearing the deep indigo robes and hood of a Mage turned away from the table where he was working. Natalia saw the scatter of soul gems and potion ingredients and thought about the ingredients in her bag. Maybe the mage would be interested. 

“Ah, thank you, Jarl.” He smiled at Natalia as the Jarl walked out of the room. Natalia shifted in her ill-fitting armor as she waited for the wizard to speak. 

"I need someone to fetch a rare artifact for me. I know where it is, if it exists, but getting to it will be...dangerous. Perhaps you are up to the task? You seem a cut above the usual brutes the Jarl sends to me."

"Ok what is this artifact and where is it," she queried, trying to get some specifics on the task. Fetching dangerous artifacts out of equally dangerous places seemed like the exact opposite of what she should be doing, but never would she admit to cowardice.

"The Dragonstone lies in Bleak Falls Barrow. Here's a map, let me mark it for you."

Brilliant. It was the creepy place she had seen from the road on her way to Whiterun. Bound to be full of things that would try to murder her. Maybe she could hire some mercenary to go with her? Natalia considered the amount of coin she had in her pack. It seemed doubtful she could hire anyone for that paltry amount.

"Are you the only mage here in Whiterun?"

"Of a type, yes. But there are also the priest and priestess at the temple of Kynareth, and an alchemist in the village. Speaking of which, I wonder if you would mind taking these frost salts to Arcadia at Arcadia's Cauldron? She asked me to obtain them for her. I'm sure she would compensate you for the delivery."

"Um, sure. I'll do that, it's on my way." Farengar handed her a small sack, tied with string. Natalia stood uncertainly, shifting the parcel from hand to hand. Were they done now? Surely, they were. 

"Right, then. I'm off." She turned on her heel and marched off with purpose, hoping that she looked confident instead of like the terrified mouse she felt she resembled. Could she have refused the Jarl? Maybe, but she imagined it wouldn't have been a great idea. 

The alchemist, Arcadia, was delighted to receive the frost salts, and compensated her with a few of her more useful potions. She also took the herbs and flowers Natalia had collected, in trade for some healing potions. On the way out of Whiterun, Natalia stopped at the blacksmith shop and sold the heavy Imperial sword for a lighter one of Elven design. The blacksmith was a sweet, if chatty, woman, who invited her back if she wanted work or training. Those vital tasks accomplished, she pushed open the gates of the city and began her journey to Bleak Falls Barrow. She just hoped to make it back in one piece. 


	4. The Way It Often Goes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Kaidan.

The sun was warm overhead as she reached the main road. Natalia removed her helmet and put it in her knapsack. She could put it back on later. The road ran to the river, and seeing no one about, climbed down to it. There was a spot that seemed shallow and calm a little ways down. Perhaps she was marching to her own death, but she refused to go to the afterlife as a filthy mess. Tucking her pack behind a rock, she slipped out of the armor she wore and waded carefully into the river with a bar of soap and a clean cloth she had swiped from the inn. The air was cool and fresh on her skin. Kneeling in the cold water, Natalia washed thoroughly, soaping her hair twice and rinsing it clean. The grassy bank offered a place to rest and dry off. Pulling out her comb she managed to secure some amount of her shoulder-length hair away from her face and tie it with a strip of leather. Hopefully that would at least keep it out of her face. 

Suddenly, she heard a noise up on the ridge that sent her scurrying behind a large rock as she looked around for the source. Just up river she saw a door in the cliff face open and close. 

Natalia dithered for only a moment before she dressed once more in the armor she was beginning to hate and buckled on her boots. Curiosity had gotten the better of her, and she slipped up the cliff path as quietly as she could. The door opened into an empty stairwell, Natalia followed it down and through several large empty chambers. This place, whatever it had been, was obviously old and no longer used. She came to another door at the bottom of a stairwell. Through a crack in the door, she could see a High Elf sitting guard, a Thalmor. Her brother had told her many tales of them. Very few were flattering. Better to take him out from a distance. She slid her bow off her back and nocked an arrow. Opening the door the smallest amount, she aimed carefully and the arrow caught him in the chest. A second, hastier shot finished him off and he slid off the chair to the floor.

Natalia slid into the entryway and made her way down the stairs. The now cooling corpse yielded some septims, a dagger and a few potions. She tucked all in her pack, and then tried the door.

It opened on surprisingly well-oiled hinges. Somewhere inside she heard the distinctive sound of a lash being used, the swish and thud as it met flesh, the grunt of pain as it landed. She cringed at the thought. If the Thalmor were torturing someone, well...Natalia nocked another arrow and tried to keep to the shadows.

As she rounded the corner, she heard a cage door open and shut. A deep voice shouted, "I'll kill you all myself once I get out of here!" The stones of the wall were cool against her arm as she stayed as close to them as she could, making her way down the corridor. 

The chamber she entered was full of iron barred cells, only one of which was occupied. The Thalmor agent was nowhere to be seen, but there was a table nearby that had a key on it. The man in the cell looked up as she approached, and Natalia felt her eyes widen in surprise. His hair was dark and fell to his shoulders, part of it was pulled up away from his face and secured with a tie. There was a crimson tattoo down one side of his face, from his forehead to his jawline. She tried not to blush as she realized he was nearly naked, not to mention chained to the wall. 

"You're not with the Thalmor are you? Quick, get me out of here." 

For once, Natalia acted without thought, nothing so beautiful should be in a cage. Grabbing the key, she opened the cell door and slowly approached the man. He looked worse for wear, his muscular torso bore the marks of the lash the Altmer had used with brutal accuracy. She stepped closer to him, struggling to meet his gaze directly as she inhaled the smell of him, smoke and sweat and the metallic scent of blood. The cuffs fell open as she turned the key and he slid to his knees at her feet. 

"Who are you? What are you doing in here?"

His eyes were dark as he glared at her from the floor.

"The Thalmor asked me to High Tea. We're having a lovely time, of course." His sarcasm hit the mark, Natalia flushed pink with embarrassment. 

"Right. But who are you? Really."

"Kaidan. My name is Kaiden. The Thalmor found me camping on the lake near Falkreath and arrested me. For no reason. Except my sword. They saw my sword and then asked me a bunch of questions about the Blades. Guess they didn't like my answers."

"So they brought you here?"

"I'm choking on my own blood and you want my life story? Have a little mercy, lady."

"I know some healing magic. Let me try to help."

Closing her eyes, she tried to work the restoration spell her sister had taught her. Her hands shimmered gold as she focused on the man in front of her. She poured all the magick she could manage into it, and when she was done, he looked much better. He rose to his feet, flexing his arms and legs easily.

"A healer then? That's a rare gift you have."

"A spell my sister taught me. I'm hardly any kind of mage. Let's get you out of here."

"Thank you for helping me. You didn't have to. And I know I have no right to ask this, but that Thalmor has my sword."

"A sword? Ok…"

"If it's important, and they seemed to think it was, then they shouldn't have it."

"Right. Which way did he go?"

"Further into the prison. Probably cornered like a rat now."

Well, this would be interesting, Natalia crossed the prison corridor to a smaller room and stopped briefly to open the chest on the floor. There was some heavy steel plate armor in there, as she lifted it out, Kaidan took it from her hands.

"You found my armor!" He sounded so pleased that she couldn't stop herself from smiling at him. He donned the heavy metal with greater ease than she ever managed. 

“Ok, you should know, in addition to not being any kind of mage, I’m also not very good in a fight, so sneaking up on this Elf is going to be necessary.”

Kaidan just searched through the chest a bit further and pulled out another sword. His smile was as thin as the steel blade as he looked at her.

“Oh I’m not worried about a fight. “ 

Natalia sighed heavily. Men. Still, if it came to up close fighting, she would put all her gold on this red-eyed stranger in a heartbeat. Arrow on string, she began to move quietly down the stairs.They found the Thalmor deep inside the prison, and Natalia never had a chance to fire a shot. Kaidan took him down with several swift blows, pulling his sword from under the elf’s cloak. The smile he gave her this time was much less feral, and she could not help but return it. Turning away quickly, she hid her flushed face from his entirely too curious gaze. 

No two people could have been happier to see sunlight as they emerged from the waterlogged prison. Kaidan took sometime to get his armor properly adjusted and fastened, his weapons secured, and the satchel he’d looted from the prison organized. Natalia took the opportunity to take her own inventory; she was pleased to see she’d picked up a small amount of gold, and a useful handful of potions. Which still left her with another problem. How was she going to get the Dragonstone out of the Barrow? 

“So, what’s your name then? Unless you just want me to call you Imperial?” His voice broke into her thoughts.

“My name is Natalia. Natalia Stormsinger. I’m pleased to meet you.” She extended her hand to him and had to swallow hard when instead of grasping it, he turned it over and pressed his lips very briefly to the back. 

“I’m pleased to meet you, Natalia. And I’m grateful you decided to investigate this place and rescue me. But it does create an issue.”

“It does?”

“I owe you my life. You saved me when you didn’t have to. And I am not a man who is comfortable being in debt.”

“Ok, but really…”

“Maybe I could travel with you for a while, fight at your side, until that debt is paid?” 

Natalia tried to conceal her relief as he finished what he had to say. This man was willing to accompany her into battle, and could not have come at a better time.

“The honor would be mine. And, to be honest, your timing is flawless.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, the Jarl of Whiterun has asked me to go into Bleak Falls Barrow and retrieve a relic called the Dragonstone. You’ve seen that I’m no great fighter and I could use some help. I’d split whatever reward I get with you.”

Kaidan smiled slowly as she spoke. He seemed glad to know that she needed him and his debt would soon be paid. She put that thought aside and tried to focus on the task ahead. They would have to walk swiftly if they wanted to make it to the Barrow by nightfall.


	5. Imperial Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bleak Falls Barrow is not for the faint of heart.

Kaidan considered himself a well-traveled man. His life had taken him across much of Tamriel, amongst all sorts of people, some good, others not so much. But the small woman in poorly fitting Imperial Legion armor was nothing like anyone he’d met before. When they’d arrived at Bleak Falls Barrow, there had been a few bandits outside, which had been killed perforce. One of them had been a woman about Natalia’s size, so he didn’t even hesitate about stripping the black ring mail off of the corpse and handing it to his companion. Her green eyes narrowed in distaste, but she accepted it.

“It’s a bit ghoulish, though, isn’t it?” Kaidan merely raised an eyebrow at her hesitance. Clearly this wasn’t a woman accustomed to rough living. Probably the daughter of some wealthy Imperial City family. Of course, as soon as he had that thought, he felt bad about it. She’d come into the prison like a ghost, set him free, healed his wounds and helped him kill the Thalmor and retrieve his belongings. She deserved his respect, no matter what her prior circumstances may have been.

“Aye, a bit. But it will fit you much better than that armor you’re wearing. Can’t have you clattering around like a legion of horkers in the Barrow. You’ll wake every draugr in there.”

Her eyes widened at the mention of draugr and she cast a speculative glance at the structure behind them. 

“Ok, you make a good point. I’ll change.” She slipped behind a pillar and Kaidan respectfully turned his back. Ten minutes later she emerged in the mercenary armor and he was taken aback by how striking it was on her. It did fit better, as he thought it might, but it also hugged her in some more interesting places...he shook the thought out of his head. He owed Natalia a debt, not inappropriate thoughts.

“That is much better. No one will be able to hear you coming, which is an important advantage. Let’s get some rest.”

She pulled her boots and hood off and dragged the bedroll closer to the fire. Less than a minute after she lay down, she was asleep, breathing deep and even. Kaidan took her Imperial cloak and spread it over her sleeping form. It would be cold tonight. 

Bleak Falls Barrow was everything expected. Crawling with bandits, draugr and traps, Kaidan had to wonder what the Nords had been thinking when they designed this place. Natalia was holding up well, despite her initial lack of confidence. One of the stronger draugr managed to get past his guard and went staggering toward her. It took him too many minutes to dispatch the rest of them but he turned just in time to see her put an arrow right through the head of the draugr. Perched on a ledge, in the torch light, she looked like an avenging goddess. In the new armor, she moved like a shadow through the halls. Kaidan marveled at her grace; the woman would be a fell hunter, when he got the chance to train her further. 

The first puzzle had him inwardly groaning; he hated puzzles. But Natalia just set her bow beside her, looked at the pillars, looked around the room and solved it without so much as a cross word. She picked the lock on every chest they found, counting the coin and splitting it in two, always handing him his half immediately. His refusal of the coin fell on deaf ears, she just said that he was doing most of the work and deserved payment. He wasn’t going to deny that the extra money would come in handy. 

The giant spider took them both by surprise. Hearing someone calling out for help, they stormed into a large room draped in spider webbing. In their haste to free the man, they didn’t see the huge spider until it was on top of them. Natalia was too close to use the bow she carried, and so she pulled hard on her magicka, as her sister had shown her. The lightning left her fingers and sent the spider into spasms. Kaidan only needed a few strokes with his sword to finish the beast. They freed the man, only to have him run off and get killed by a trap in the next room. The Golden claw they found on his body looked important, so Natalia tossed it into her pack. She may never be the strongest sword arm in town, but she was a smart and able fighter, and Kaidan knew as companions went, he could do much worse.

They came finally to what he was pretty sure was the end of the Barrow. Luckily, they had the Claw with them, as it turned out to be the key to unlock the last part of the ruin. He was glad this adventure was almost over, hopefully soon to be followed by an ale in a warm tavern. Maybe several ales. And a warm bed would be welcome. 

The room was huge...and empty. Both of those things made Kaidan very suspicious. Natalia kept an arrow ready, moving toward the dais at the top of the stairs. He followed her to the top only to find her transfixed by some writing in an odd language on the wall. Her eyes gone dark, her face blank. Calling her name repeatedly garnered no response. He put a hand on her arm and she shook off whatever trance she’d been in. He would have asked her about it, but a truly ugly draugr chose that moment to break out of its crypt and it took both of them to kill it. 

Battle won, they sat on the stairs, exhausted. The Dragonstone was secured in Natalia’s pack, they took turns drinking water out of one of her skins. Finally, Kaidan stood and extended a hand to haul her to her feet.

“Come on, let’s get out of here and back to Whiterun. We could both use a real meal and a drink.”

The smile she gave him warmed his heart, and his blood, but he refused to admit to any of it, even to himself. 

By the time they made it back to Whiterun, it was late and dark, but the tavern was lively. They rented rooms and ordered a hot meal, ale for him and a bottle of mead for her. Conversation was sparse as they fell on their meal like starving dogs, but once their appetite was sated, they began to relax. More mead and ale was ordered. The bard sang a few songs and Natalia tapped her fingers to the beat. 

“So tell me something about yourself,” she slid into the chair next to him so he could hear her over the music.

The combination of the ale and the warm fire lowered his guard, just enough.

“What are you wanting to know?”

“Why did the Thalmor abduct you in the first place? You said something about your sword?”

“ Ah yes. Well. I’d been on my own for a while, picking up bounty contracts to keep some coin in my pocket. I was trying to cross the border into Pale Pass when they found me. They found my sword when they arrested me, decided to interrogate me about it. I couldn’t give them proper answers since I know so little about it myself.”

“Hmm. Where did you get it?”

“It was given to me by my guardian. It belonged to my mother.”

Natalia nodded with a sympathetic smile, to which Kaidan took exception. He didn’t need anyone’s pity. Much less some pretty Imperial woman who would spend twenty minutes picking a lock so she could pay him fifty gold septims. He needed to change the suspect.

“What about you? How did you wind up in Skyrim?”

“Do you want the long story or the short one?”

“Whichever you feel like telling.”

“I decided to leave home to become a professional forager, you know, herbs, flowers that sort of thing. I stumbled into an Imperial ambush; they thought I was a Stormcloak and tried to execute me at Helgen. Then a dragon attacked and I escaped with an Imperial soldier. As one does."

Kaiden stared at her, gobsmacked. Dragons, ambushes and narrow escape from death. 

“Well, that explains the armor you were wearing, at least.”

He smiled when Natalia laughed helplessly into her mug of mead. 

A few hours later, he half carried the exhausted, tipsy woman up the stairs to her room. He pulled the quiver off her shoulder and unstrapped her bow. Natalia sat on the bed, struggling with her boots. She giggled as she got one off, but then fell over on her side. Kaidan sighed and helped her off with her other boot. Natalia stood on unsteady legs, fumbling with the clasp of her cloak. She managed that well enough, but the leather hood seemed to elude her fingers. His fingers shook a little as he helped her pull it over her head. Her dark hair was a messy halo around her face and her green eyes sparkled in the dim light. The smile she gave him was sent straight from Dibella and he knew he needed to leave the room. This was not going to end well. 

“Kai, could you give me a hand with this armor? I seem to have too many fingers.”

Kaidan prayed to Talos for strength. He helped her sit down on the bed and then turned to leave.

“Ok, so you’re not going to help. That’s fine. I can do it myself.”

“Natalia, I can’t. It wouldn’t be right. And if I start touching you, I’m not going to want to stop.”

That got her attention. She stopped wrestling with the buckles and looked at him. His words had pierced her hazy brain. Regret and humiliation washed her face in crimson.

“I’m sorry. Thank you for your help. Sleep well.”

He fled to his own room, grateful for the solitude. He stripped his armor off and laid his sword aside. His dagger he tucked under his pillow. Women were a puzzle to him, and this one was more complicated than he first thought. Maybe the Divines would forgive him for his errant thoughts, and tomorrow morning he could set things back on the right course with Natalia. 


	6. Imagine Dragons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says on the tin.

Natalia woke in the early morning hours with a pounding head and what felt like a mouthful of sawdust. She knew better than to drink that much mead; but she was riding the high of what felt like a victorious quest, and an attractive man was paying attention to her. Groaning, she turned her face into the pillow. Had she really attempted to flirt with Kaidan? Was she really that much a fool? Her hood was on the floor where it had fallen last night, and her foggy brain produced a memory of Kaidan’s fingers brushing her hair from her face, carefully, as though he were afraid his rough fingers would somehow hurt her. But then-- oh Divines have mercy on her stupidity. Standing abruptly, no longer concerned for her pounding head, she pulled a health potion out of her bag and took a swig. It settled her stomach and eased the worst of it. She needed to get dressed straight away. After that debacle last night, she would not be surprised if he just left her completely, and she wouldn’t blame him, but she needed to apologize. The water in the jug near the basin was cold on her face, but her head felt clearer after the wash. She was halfway through combing her hair when there was a quiet tap on her door.

“Who is it,” she called, her hand closing on her dagger hilt.

“It’s Kaidan. May I enter?” Natalia felt panic rise in her throat. She swallowed it back down.

“Sure, come in.” 

He opened the door slowly and stood there in the light from the lamp. He hadn’t put his armor on yet and Natalia told herself she was an idiot to stare at a man wearing trousers and a shirt. He was perfectly decent, despite the lack of shoes. 

“Morning.” His greeting was subdued. Natalia’s fingers jerked on the strap of her quiver as she tried to make words form.

“Morning. Sleep well?”

“Bit restless, but not bad. You?”

“Slept like the dead, woke up feeling like a draugr,” Natalia shrugged.  “Took a swig of a potion, I’ll be fine.”

He paced around her small room like a nervous cat. She wondered if it was really that hard for him to tell her he was going off on his own. Surely not. They’d known each other for the space of days, hardly long enough for any real attachment. But still, she did owe an apology, perhaps it would be easier if she started.

“Look, Kaidan, about last night. I need to apologize. I don’t normally drink that much, and I let my behavior get out of hand. I’m sorry if my clumsy flirting made you uncomfortable. You’ve been a good and noble companion and I shouldn’t have done that to you.”

Natalia stared down at her hands. Hopefully he would accept her apology. 

“Natalia. Look at me.”

Her gaze snapped up to meet his and her breath caught again. Would she never stop fawning like a schoolgirl with a crush? 

“You don’t have to apologize. You didn’t offend me. I was worried though, that I might have offended you.”

“Oh, no. You were right to leave the room. Only thing you could have done, of course. Had you stayed, well, things might have gone poorly. Neither of us wants that, I’m sure.”

Natalia offered her hand and he clasped it firmly, an agreement to let the past be the past. She breathed a sigh of relief, hoping it meant he would stay a little longer.

“Well, we’d better get up to Dragonsreach, then. I’ll finish getting dressed and meet you downstairs.” 

Natalia busied herself in the tavern with her bow and her pack, checking her potions. She paged through one of the books she had swiped in the Barrow yesterday while she nibbled the fresh bread that the barmaid had brought her for breakfast. The telltale clank of steel plate armor on the stairs had her looking up from her book to smile at Kaidan. His returning smile caused a slight flutter in her belly, which she pushed away resolutely. He was a handsome man and a strong warrior, being attracted to him wasn’t strange. However, they were allies and nothing more and therefore, Natalia was not going to allow it to be an issue. 

“Ready to go?”

“I’m ready. Let’s go do this.”

The walk up to Dragonsreach was more fun with company. The guards all avoided them, and the few that tried to speak got Kaidan’s unfriendly glare. Natalia laughed under her breath. 

Farengar did a bad job concealing his surprise at her return. She just smirked at him while Kaidan scowled at the smaller man. 

“Thank you for retrieving this for me. Now I can continue my research into the dragons. Go and speak to Jarl Balgruuf and he will give you your reward.”

They had no sooner turned toward the doorway as the Jarl’s housecarl Irileth came running in.

“A dragon has been sighted near the Western Watchtower! Go quickly and talk to the Jarl.” 

Natalia looked at Kaidan, who shrugged and accompanied her into the main hall. Jarl Balgruuf was waiting for them. 

“You seem like a capable warrior, would you accompany Irileth to the watchtower with her guardsmen? You can be of great service to us, and Whiterun rewards service.”

Natalia felt her heart sink into her boots. Plunging into a dangerous tomb filled with creepy stuff was one thing, but taking on a dragon was a completely different matter. Kaidan shrugged off his pack and travel cloak, so she did the same. They made their way through the town, only pausing at the Drunken Huntsman shop to replenish her arrow supply. The gold they had found in the Barrow was being put to good use. 

Once they left the town and turned west they could smell the smoke on the air. Natalia was grateful it was still daylight. Fighting a dragon was bad, fighting one at night was right out. They hurried along the main road.

“Have you fought a dragon before?” she asked, mostly to take her mind off the situation.

“No, I never have. This is a rare opportunity.”

“An opportunity?” His logic baffled her.

“Yes, to test one’s strength and skill against a worthy foe.”

“Right, honor and glory.”

“Do you not want honor or glory?”

“I want to live; I’m not a warrior like you, Kaidan.”

“Bah! You are, you just don’t know it yet. But if things get ugly in this fight, you get close to me and stay there. I’ll handle the rest.” Natalia smiled at his chivalry, as they approached the chaos of the watchtower. Irileth was rallying her men and the remaining guards. The dragon was out of sight for the moment, but Natalia could hear its screeching cries as it drew nearer. She tapped Kaidan on the shoulder and pointed to the top of the tower.

“I’m heading for the high ground, I’ll get better shots from there.”

Kaidan gave her a brief nod and a pat on the back, “You be careful. I can’t lose you before my debt is paid.”

“You be careful yourself. I don’t want to have to track you down in Sovngarde.” With that, she made her way into the tower. 

From her perch at the top of the tower, the extent of the destruction could be seen. Burning timbers, bodies of men littered the ground below her. A dark shape loomed, growing larger against the backdrop of the mountains. She pulled an arrow from her quiver and took her stance. Terrified she was, but she was also determined. The dragon swooped low as it came near the tower and Natalia let the arrow fly. The dragon roared when it struck home, and she quickly readied a second shot. Her job was to make the dragon land, so the men on the ground could attack it properly. The second shot went wide and the dragon rose in the air. A panicked prayer to Akatosh was all she managed as she dove for cover in the stairwell. Even so, the heat of the fire reddened her skin as she scrambled for another arrow. The next one hit the mark, as did the one after. But another gout of fire sent her tumbling down the stone steps and cost her the quiver. She slumped against the wall, cursing her own clumsiness. The golden glow of healing magic lit her hands as she mended the worst damage. The rest would have to wait. The pull of magicka gave her an idea, though she had doubts about it working. It was worth a try.

Natalia climbed the stairs again, sparks arcing in her fingers as she worked for every bit of power she could manage. The dragon was in good range, but she waited till it got just a bit closer-- lightning crackled from her hands, and shot through the sky. The dragon twitched in mid-air as she hit her target. All of her concentration was on channeling that energy into her foe, if she failed, they were lost. The drain of power finally drove her to her knees, the sparks dying. But they had done their work, the dragon landed not far from the tower. She could see the flash of steel as the guards below descended on the beast and ended its life. 

Swaying on her feet, she made her way down the stairs, pausing to pick up her bow and look for her lost quiver. It somehow had gotten all the way to the bottom of the tower and under a table. The sun was just beginning to sink towards the horizon and it momentarily blinded her as she emerged from the ruined watchtower. She could hear the voices of the victors congratulating each other, offering healing potions and bandages to the injured. It was like Kaidan had said, a hard won victory against a worthy foe. Maybe a bard would write a song. 

The group greeted her as she approached the carcass of the dragon. She smiled vaguely at them as she searched for her friend. He was standing near the head of the thing so she picked her way over the scorched earth to him. He smiled down at her as she appeared beside him, clapping a hand to her shoulder with such enthusiasm she almost toppled over. 

“Are you injured,Kaidan? Anything hurt at all?” She doubted she had enough magicka to heal anyone right now, but she would try anyway.

“Nah, not me. Fit as a fiddle. However you look like a long stretch of bad road. Are you okay, Natalia?” He put an arm around her, which steadied her a bit.

“Yeah, I’m fine. All that lightning drained me though. I doubt I could summon enough power to light a candle right now.”

“Well, the battle is done and you fought well. Let’s get back to town. You need some food and rest.” 

Suddenly, it was as though the air around them just vanished. Natalia heard her ears pop as though she were in a vacuum. The body of the dead dragon began to glow, and then caught fire. Kaidan pulled her back away from it, trying to put himself between her and the burning corpse. When nothing but the skeleton remained, that same incandescence moved to Natalia, surrounding her like torchbugs. Then, it vanished. Everything seemed normal again. Except for the guards, who were staring at her as though she’d grown a second head.

“Maybe you’re Dragonborn!” one of the guards smiled at her as though she were the winner of a prize.

“Dragonborn? What does that mean?”

“The Dragonborn is a legend. The body of a man, er---woman and the soul of a dragon. The greatest dragonslayer of all time.”

Natalia looked at the guard, confused. She vaguely recalled reading about the Dragonborn in her early studies. The Septim Emperors were said to possess the gift. But it made no sense.

“Well I’m sure the Dragonborn doesn’t lose their quiver in mid-battle, so I’m probably not.”

“Have you tried shouting?”

“Look, I don’t understand how yelling is going to help.”

“No, a shout. In dragon language. It was a unique weapon of the Dragonborn.”

By now, even Kaidan was looking at her like she was a ghost. She sighed heavily and closed her eyes. She didn’t know what in Kynareth’s name they were talking about. But she would just try.

The sound that emerged from her was nothing she had ever heard or uttered before in her life. The power punched through the air like a fist. The dragon bones were pushed twenty steps away from her. And now, everyone was regarding her like she was a dangerous lunatic. That was just what this day needed. Kaidan was right. She was tired, she needed to report to the Jarl, and rest. Turning on her heel, she trudged back to the main road. Kaidan caught up with her in less than a minute and handed her a pouch full of coin.

“Where did this come from?”

“I pulled it off the dragon before it burned up.”

“What? Do dragons have pockets?”

His laugh was a balm to her soul. This morning she’d been a normal woman, albeit one with an unfortunate crush on her companion. Now she was a freak of nature. But luckily, he didn’t seem worried about that. He seemed worried about her, but not about her being some sort of legend. They walked in contented silence, until they reached the Jarl’s palace. Then, an echoing cry shattered the quiet evening. 

“What was that?”

“No idea. Let’s just get inside, I think it’s going to rain.”


	7. Kyne's Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Elysium Estate mod is property of its creator, thejadeshadow on Nexus. This house is probably one of my favorite player homes in the game.

Natalia was holding herself together with grit and adrenaline when they made it back to the Jarl’s palace. She may not have any head for drink, but she had an impressive amount of guts. He was fairly certain she had gotten injured during the dragon fight, but either she’d healed it herself, or she was just braving her way through the pain. He watched her stand in front of the Jarl and accept his gratitude with graciousness. So, now he was traveling with a Thane of Whiterun. Politics made him uneasy, usually. He had no stomach for the pomp and ceremony, but he was proud of her all the same. The axe with which she’d been presented hung loosely from her hand. It was a useless weapon for her, but she’d never say so. 

Apparently the echoing cry they’d heard was from a place called High Hrothgar, home of the Greybeards. The entire countryside had heard it. Balgruuf seemed to know a little about them, and recommended that Natalia visit them soon. Since she’d been given the gift of the Voice, the Greybeards would be able to help her learn more about it. Kaidan began to plan for what they would need to make the trip up to the Throat of the World. They would need more supplies. Once Natalia was back in fighting form, of course. She was still swaying slightly on her feet, like an aspen tree in the wind. 

The Jarl offered them a place to spend the night, and they rolled out their bedrolls in the kitchen off the main hall. It was warm and there was plenty of food and drink. She managed to eat a roast beef and vegetable sandwich that he made for her, and drink some water before she passed out. 

It took a while longer for the adrenaline to leave his system after a good battle, so he sat by the fire, reading through a book or two, hoping to find more about the Dragonborn. When the books didn’t pan out, he simply lay down on his bedroll and studied the fire in the hearth, watching the light dance across the face of his friend as she slept. The darkness couldn’t hide the shadows under her eyes. He reached out and touched the soft skin of her cheek with the tip of one finger. Kaidan knew he was going to have to reign in this fascination with Natalia and quickly, before he got in much deeper. He turned to face the wall, and soon fell asleep. 

He woke slowly to find Natalia already awake and moving about. He watched her brew a pot of tea, slice some bread and apples and comb her hair before she noticed he was awake. She smiled at him and poured a cup of tea. 

“Did you sleep well, Kaidan?” 

“I did, at that. You seem somewhat restored, I take it you’re feeling better?”

“I am. Still a little tired, but a cup of this tea with some honey will fix me right up. My mother always claimed that the right tea at the right time could cure almost any ill.”

“She sounds smart, your mother.”

“She is. She’s very smart.”

He sipped the tea she placed in front of him, wincing when it scalded his tongue. It was just the two of them in the warm kitchen, and he could see no one in the main hall. It was still early in the morning then. Natalia had her map of Skyrim spread on the table with High Hrothgar marked in red ink. 

“I used Farengar’s big map in his room to pin down some things. There’s a town here, “ she gestured to the base of the mountain, “called Ivarstead. It’s up past Helgen, or what used to be Helgen.” He continued to drink his tea quietly and she munched on some apple slices dipped in honey. Some of the sticky sweet substance slid down her fingertips and he couldn’t stop himself staring as she licked them clean, oblivious to his riveted gaze. He mentally chided himself for being so obvious. 

They finished their breakfast and packed up their kit and a few extra rations. It was time to say goodbye to Whiterun. The town was still asleep as they made their way through the main street to the gates. The main road was mostly deserted and the morning sky was luminescent after the rain last night. Even the rough stone road seemed washed clean. 

“What are you going to do with that axe, Natalia?”

The ornate steel weapon hung from her belt, but seemed much too bulky and clumsy on her compact frame. Axes didn’t suit her at all. 

“I’m going to learn the enchantment on it. Maybe I can then apply the same magick to my bow. That would be useful.”

“Can you do that?”

“I’ll probably need help, maybe a bit of training. But yes, I can do it.”

Kaidan sighed. It wasn’t that he hated magick. It was only that most of his experience with it and the people who wielded it was pretty terrible. He didn’t want Natalia to fall into that darkness. But if he knew one thing about her, it was that she would do what she thought best, regardless of the cost. He got a bit lost in the thought as they wandered down the road in the chilly morning and so didn’t notice that she’d stopped until he ran into her. He was obviously quite a bit larger and with the extra weight of his armor and weapons, well, she didn’t have much chance. A quick arm around her waist kept her from falling, and stayed there as he shaded his eyes against the sun to see what had caught her attention.

“Kaidan, do you see a house there?”

“Aye, I do.”

“Was it there yesterday?”

“I don’t remember seeing it. But we were a bit distracted if you recall.”

“I want to check it out.”

“Natalia, it’s just a house,” but his words were lost in the wind as she shook off his arm and started up the path to the house on the slight rise of the hill. Now that he thought about it, he didn’t recall seeing any houses at all between the town and the watchtower. Trust the Imperial woman to find a magical house. He hurried after her, because if there was trouble, she’d find it.

The house itself was nice, in the Nord style of course. A steeply pitched roof, wide double front doors, a small garden just inside the front gate, a small stable and animal pen off to the other side. There didn’t appear to be anyone living there, the place felt deserted. Kaidan walked around the side of the house and felt his jaw drop in amazement. There was a hot spring, which had been carefully fitted with stone benches. A wooden platform around it held a forge and anvil, a tanning rack, chests and workbenches. A smelter stood further off. He stared in amazement. Never had he seen such luxury. He needed to find Natalia, she would want to see this. And, if the place was, in fact, deserted, there would be no harm in having a nice swim in that hot spring.

He rounded the corner, but slowed as he heard her speaking to someone. So perhaps someone lived here after all? At first all he saw was Natalia, standing under the vine covered pergola, but then he saw the glimmering shape standing beside her. A female human, but...a ghost. Kaidan sighed heavily. Of course, they would find a house and it would be haunted. Naturally.

She turned as he made his was under the pergola, but he wasn’t ready for the beaming smile on her face. He expected trepidation or fear. But when had Natalia ever done the expected? Bloody never, that’s when. 

“Well, this is a new development. I’ve never spoken to a ghost before”

“Nor I. What did she say?”

“That she was the Caretaker of Elysium Estate, this house, which was conjured by Kynareth.”

“Hmm. A goddess built a house?”

“Well, however she did it, it’s solid and real. The Caretaker says if I get Kynareth’s blessing here at the altar, we can live in this house. For as long as we want to.”

This struck Kaiden as being a bit odd, but then he was traveling with the Dragonborn, new Thane of Whiterun, and somehow the odd and fantastic just seemed to follow her wherever she went. 

“Well, I guess you better say a very good prayer to our lady Kyne.”

Natalia laid her hands on the small statue that represented the Divine of Rain, Wind and the Natural World. The beam of light wasn’t something he expected at all. The voice that seemed everywhere and nowhere was unsettling. Kaidan wasn’t ignorant of the Divines, but he’d never had one decide to speak to someone when he was around. He wasn’t sure how comfortable he was with that, but Natalia and the goddess seemed to get along fine. Blessings were given and the ghost gave her a key to the house. By now the midday sun was high and hot, Kaiden followed her into the house, grateful for the shade. 

For a few moments, they were both speechless as they looked at the house. It felt incredibly spacious after cramped inn rooms, tents and caves. Indeed it seemed no luxury had been overlooked. The large living area was divided into a dining room and the kitchen, whose contents Natalia immediately began to investigate. He'd never seen anyone so enthralled by an oven before. 

"Can you even cook? I can’t imagine you doing domestic chores," He immediately wished to call the words back. She stopped what she was doing and just stared at him. For a moment he thought she would let it pass. He should have known better. Her green eyes sparked with temper as she marched up to him. 

"Yes I can cook. My mother cooks, my sister as well. Even my brother and father cook."

"I…" He stopped, because she wasn't finished. Her finger drilled so hard into his chest he was surprised the steel didn't buckle under the pressure.

"Look, I come from Cyrodil which makes me suspect in your eyes I know, but you don't know a thing about me or my life."

Hoping to calm her, he wrapped his hand around her finger and drew it down with him as he sat in one of the dining chairs. She seemed disconcerted by his sudden change in height, and perhaps also that he seemed to be holding her hand. But she had the bit in her teeth now.

"I grew up on a farm in Cheydinhall and yes, it was doing well, but we worked. All of us. And the work was hard, every bit as much as swinging a sword. We didn't have servants. Everyone shared the labor, that included cooking. So don't you ever assume that just because I'm Imperial that I had an easy or luxurious life."

“I’m sorry, Natalia. I should not have assumed things when I know so little of you. Will you forgive me?”

Her eyes searched his face for a moment before she gave him a brief nod, but her expression stayed frosty.

“Forgiven. I’m going to check out the rest of the house.”

Kaidan sat for a while with his regret. He had hurt her feelings and he hadn’t really meant to. He’d have to find a way to make it up to her.

Eventually he started to explore the new surroundings; and if the water pump over the basin in the kitchen fascinated him, the indoor bathing spa dazzled him. The water was warm, probably fed by the same hot spring he saw behind the house. There was a large bath in the bigger bedroom, clearly meant for guests and a smaller one, made for two, in the master suite. He stood for a bit just staring at the warm water, the big bed piled high with soft blankets and pillows. Of course, the house had been gifted to Natalia, and she’d said nothing about his staying here with her, so perhaps she would want him to find his own lodging. 

He would ask her. But...maybe not right now.


	8. Where the Heart Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magic House, part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kind kudos, everyone. I hope you are enjoying the story as much as I am enjoying writing it.

If there was anything strange about having a Divine gift her a house, Natalia was willing to overlook it. The house was a thing of beauty, and her joy only increased when she looked outside to see the spring, the forge and the workbench. She indulged herself with a few tears of happiness and an earnest thankful prayer to Kynareth. 

The small garden was full of vegetable, ripe and ready for use. Gathering leeks and potatoes, she contemplated making a stew for dinner. And some fresh bread. Her mother’s recipe for rabbit stew was excellent, guaranteed to satisfy even the most particular appetite.

Kaidan was sitting by the fire in the sitting room at the back of the house, and seemed lost in thought. She cleared her throat to announce her presence.

“Kai, would you mind doing a little hunting? I can make us dinner if you bring me some small game. Rabbits would be best, if you can manage it”

“So you want me to stay here with you?” He seemed uncertain, almost nervous.

“Of course. Unless you don’t want to? I guess I should have asked.”

“No, I do! Want to stay, that is.”

“Oh good, “ Natalia relaxed a bit more when he smiled. “ There’s plenty of room here, I daresay we can manage not to be on top of each other unless we want to be.” She realized what she’d said about a second after the words were spoken, and Kaidan made a strangled noise that was between a laugh and something else. He left the sitting room, still snickering and dropped his big sword in the smaller bedroom, taking only his bow and dagger.

“I’ll be back with meat in just a bit.”

Natalia huffed out an exasperated breath as the door closed behind him. She seemed to be having an increasing problem with getting her foot wedged in her mouth. Shrugging off the embarrassment, she continued her exploration of the house that a goddess had built. The sitting room in the rear of the house had an enchanting table, which was interesting. She’d only seen one in the Mages Guild in Cheydinhall, while visiting her sister. Maybe Farengar could show her some things, if she asked, or recommend someone. Books would have to do for now though. She unhooked the Axe of Whiterun from her belt and set it on the table for later. The Caretaker had done her job well; the fires all burned merrily, the lamps were all lit. Natalia saw the door at the bottom of the stairs and told herself she would look into it after dinner. Kaidan would be home soon. 

On her way back to the kitchen, she tried not to think too much on how eagerly she awaited his return, despite her irritation with him earlier. They were, in essence, living together, if only as roommates. She would have to work to keep any feelings she might have for him under control. They made a good team, but she doubted that they would be well-suited as anything else. 

Her thoughts were troubled as she peered into the cold storage bin. Enchantments and ice wraith teeth kept food fresh inside of it. She found some carrots and garlic to go with the potatoes and leeks. There were bottles of wine and ale in a rack on the far wall, either of which would make a good broth for a stew. Soon, she was no longer worried about dragons or tattooed men with pretty eyes, cooking calmed her mind and soul. Bread was baking in the oven, and vegetables were ready for whatever game Kaidan brought in. She checked the oven and pulled out the four small loaves. Two extra she made to take with them to Ivarstead tomorrow. Her work done, Natalia left the kitchen, eager to try out spa bath in the bedroom. 

It was so good to get out of the armour. The warm water of the bath felt like a miracle and she scrubbed her skin almost raw with the sweet smelling soap. Once she emerged and dried herself with the soft towels, she began to investigate the drawers and wardrobe. A lovely glass bottle of rose-water stood on the dresser, and pegs from which the lady of the house could hang her jewelry were on the wall above it. The wardrobe smelled of lavendar and held several soft loose robes and sandals, so she grabbed the smallest of both. She’d have to tell Kaidan about these, much more comfortable. She didn’t think he was like some of the Nords who were afraid of bathing regularly. Although, given the icy water in most of Skyrim, she didn’t really blame them. She wasn’t even sure that he was a Nord. His crimson eyes hinted at another heritage. 

As she combed her hair, she noted it was getting long again. Her mother used to cut it for her, standing on the wide porch of their farmhouse. How long had she been gone? It seemed like forever. Her parents were probably worried half to death. She should write them a letter tonight, and post it in town with a courier. Just to let them know she was safe. She was sitting at the big desk in the bedroom writing when she heard Kaidan call her name. He was standing just inside the door, smiling as though he’d won first prize in a boxing match. 

“Something smells good in here. What have you been up to, Natalia?”

“Baking bread. Have you brought some game? What did you get?”

“Got a few rab-what are you wearing?” 

“It’s a robe. I had a bath while you were gone. I haven’t felt properly clean in an age.”

He stepped a bit closer and deliberately sniffed her hair. She put her hand on his shoulder and pushed him away. 

“You smell really good. Like flowers.”

“Well I imagine it’s better than smelling like dragon fire and draugr. Where are the rabbits?”

“Oh, I’m going to finish butchering outside. Messy business.”

“Yes I know. Bring me the quarters and I’ll take it from there.”

He disappeared outside again and Natalia wrapped the robe a bit tighter and checked the knot in the sash. Next chance, she was going to either buy or make some kind of clothes. For at home days. For a moment, her smile felt like it would break her face. Home.


	9. Domesticity

Standing in the warm house, Kaidan didn’t know what smelled better, the fresh bread or Natalia. When she emerged from the bedroom it was all he could do not to drool at her feet like a stray dog. Her armour discarded, she was wrapped in some rich green fabric that fell to her sandaled feet. Her hair was still damp and curling a bit around her shoulders. If anyone had ever asked him what domestic bliss looked like, he would have described Natalia, exactly as she was. He excused himself back outside to finish dressing the rabbits, trying to focus his mind on the task so it didn’t go wandering to the woman waiting for him inside. 

He’d not realized how beautiful she was. He’d only seen her as Natalia, his ally, his companion. And yes, she was pretty, with her night dark hair and green eyes. Her form was pleasantly shaped, as much as anyone could tell with the ring mail that covered her from head to foot. But he’d never imagined she could look like that, almost luxuriously warm and soft. For the first time, he considered what it would be like if they were more than friends. 

The rabbits were cleaned and quartered, so he collected the pieces and cleaned his work area. It wouldn’t do to leave any kind of mess for scavenging animals. He made sure to clean the worst of the mud from his boots before he entered once more.

Natalia was waiting for him with a glazed platter for the meat. She returned to the kitchen, pulled out a wooden cutting board and a sharp knife and began taking the meat off the bones.

“The stew will take a little while. Do you want to have a bath before we eat?”

A bath sounded like the best idea he’d ever heard. In the clean smelling house, he was pretty sure he smelled of blood and worse. 

“Yeah, a bath would be good. Be nice to get out of this kit.”

“There’s another robe, in a larger size, in the wardrobe in my bedroom. If you want you can use the bath in there as well. Or if you prefer the other, larger one, that’s okay too.”

“All right then.”

He stopped in what he considered his bedroom to remove his plate armour. He padded barefoot across the hall in his laced black breeches and his linen undershirt. He walked softly in her room, taking in the half-finished letter on the desk, the empty bookshelves and the carelessly discarded cloak on the bed. The neat script of her handwriting impressed him immensely. He could read well enough and manage basic printing, but that sort of writing, well Brynjar would have laughed himself sick. Kaidan was glad he got as much education as he did, considering. 

He stripped off the rest of his clothing in front of the fire, enjoying the freedom from the layers of cloth and metal and leather. Walking into the warm bath, he pulled the chain on the wall and stepped under the waterfall of fresh hot water that poured from the spigot higher up the wall. The soap smelled like flowers but he didn’t care, he was determined to scrape the layers of grime off his skin if it could be done at all. This was a definite improvement over the lake in Falkreath. The water there had taken his breath away, it was so cold. 

He soaked in the warm water for what felt like hours, but finally climbed out when he began to smell whatever Natalia was cooking. The robe was where she said it was, hanging in the wardrobe, and he wrapped himself in the dark blue fabric, enjoying the softness. He collected his clothes and took them to the larger “guest” room. He’d wash them there later and hang them to dry. 

She was standing at the cooking spit by the fire in the kitchen when he walked in. He must have made some sound because she turned around and started to say something, only to stop in mid word.

“Natalia?”

She was still staring, not making a sound. Kaidan waited for a minute, only to frown in confusion when she suddenly burst into laughter.

“Ok, what’s the joke then?”

Returning the spoon to the kettle, she stepped over to him, still smiling.

“No joke, Kai. But gods above, you are adorable.”

“Adora..what? I’ve never been called that in my life. Adorable. Hmpph.” He wasn’t even completely sure what it meant, but it didn’t sound like something that would apply to a warrior. She just shook her head and smiled at him again.

“Well you are. Come and eat, the stew is ready.”

Kaidan laid in his bed much later, belly full of rich stew, fresh bread and wine. His freshly laundered clothes drying next to hers on a line they’d rigged near the fire in the sitting room. If Sovngarde was anything like being home with Natalia, he wouldn’t be a bit sorry when his time came. He drifted off to sleep, and dreamed of sweet laughter and green eyes.

Morning came in with the sound of someone adding wood to a fire, and Kaidan’s hand tightened on his dagger under the pillow for just a moment before he remembered where he was. He rolled over and lay still for a little while, enjoying the feather mattress, the soft blankets, before forcing himself out of bed. If they stayed here too long, he’d be lazy and fat in no time. It was much too comfortable. The air had chilled in the night, since they’d banked the fires before retiring to bed. So, he slipped on the blue robe he'd worn last night to stave off the cold air on his bare skin. 

Natalia sat at the table, with her sleep tumbled hair, munching on a slice of bread as she paged through the book in front of her. The early morning sunlight on her face and shoulder, where her robe slid off to one side. Kaidan stood in the doorway for a moment,watching. He never seemed to get tired of looking at her. Her brow furrowed as she continued reading, the absent sip of tea that caused the collar of the robe to slip a bit further before being yanked back into place. He turned in the opposite direction to retrieve his clothing from the sitting room, deciding that trousers would be a good idea this morning. Maybe being fully clothed would get his mind out of the trap it had fallen into. 

She looked up as he took a seat next to her with his own breakfast. He poured himself a cup of tea from the pot she had on the table and she passed him the jar of honey without a word.

“What are you reading there?”

“Spell book. Learning some more of the basics, trying to find ways to use them without draining myself dry like I did with the dragon. That was a bit rough.”

“Well, I’m not keen on and certainly no judge of magick, but it seemed to work well enough.”

That got her attention. Her green eyes darkened as they narrowed on him. 

“You don’t like magick?”

He sighed into his tea. He hadn’t really meant to say it like that. It wasn’t as though he had any right to judge her.

“It’s not that I don’t like it…”

“But…?”

“Let’s just say I’ve known some people who have let power like that pull them into a dark place. And they never came out of it. “

“I see. But I’m not any of those people.”

“I know you aren’t. I just want you to use caution in your studies.”

Natalia stood from her chair, book in hand as she looked down at him. No beaming smiles this time, her face was as solemn as a gravestone.

“I know we haven’t known each other very long, and you have no reason to trust me beyond what you know of me up to this point. But I would hope that that amount of trust would tell you that I would never use my knowledge to hurt you or myself. I like living, Kaidan. And I like you. So trust in that, if you can.”

Then she turned in a swirl of green and left him sitting with his cup of tea going cold. 


	10. Ivarstead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some people find trouble, other people have trouble follow them like a shadow.

Natalia kept her own counsel the rest of the morning. Dressed in her clean and dry underclothes, her armour felt like a weird second skin when she buckled it on. She knew she’d get used to it. She braided her hair before putting on the leather and mail hood. It would be easier to keep clean that way. Getting ready to leave again felt strange, almost as though she were leaving home all over again. But she told herself they’d be back,soon. After they saw the Greybeards and figured out this magical Voice thing. Maybe they could tell her more about the Dragonborn legend and if that was what she was. Answers would be good to have, finally. 

She emptied her satchel, repacking it with care. Personal care items, potions, her gold in a small bag, a flint. She found a fur-lined vest in one of the chests and added that. High Hrothgar was near the summit of The Throat of The World, it would be cold. A woolen wrapper went next to a leatherbound book and quill. The inkwell could be sealed and capped and placed in the outer pocket. 

Kaidan was in the kitchen when she emerged, also in full armour. He gave her a fleeting smile that she tried to return. He was packing some apples and bread in his pack, which would be easy to carry and slow to spoil. Ivarstead wasn’t that far away, so if they needed extra supplies, they could pick them up there. They stepped out into fresh cool breeze and warm sun, Natalia locked the door, though something told her that the house could take care of itself. They’d banked the fires, and closed the drafts for the fireplaces and the oven. She reached for the gate, only to have Kaidan put a hand on her arm.

“I thought this might be easier if we rode to Ivarstead, rather than walked. The Jarl was willing to loan us these two horses for our trip. Being a Thane seems to have advantages.”

“Wait, when did you get these?”

“When I was out hunting yesterday, I stopped by the stables.”

“The Jarl let us borrow these horses? Must be my lucky week.”

A big black horse stood next to a smaller bay horse, both saddled and bridled in the stable next to the house. It had been a while since she’d done any serious riding, but hopefully, it would come back to her. It would certainly be easier than hiking with a heavy pack. Natalia secured her satchel and bedroll behind the saddle and tried to get her foot in the stirrup. After two frustrated attempts, she started to lengthen the stirrups, only to find herself whisked off her feet and plopped in the saddle. Kaidan only smiled at her when she frowned down at him so she decided to let it go, and adjusted herself in the saddle. The horses’ hooves on the road were loud in the quiet morning.

The ride to Ivarstead was reasonably short and uneventful. They reached the inn in town as the sun was setting. Natalia found herself more than a little saddle sore as she dismounted. The muscles in her legs protested the protracted use, and made her a little wobbly as she mounted the steps to the inn. Kaidan seemed to have no such issue, swinging out of the saddle as though he did it everyday. Which, given what she knew, might be the case. She’d grown attached to this man on very little evidence and several harrowing experiences; she hoped to use this time to get to know him better. The Innkeeper gave them rooms for the night, very reasonably, but warned them about walking out at night near the Barrow.

“What’s wrong with it?” 

“Folks say it’s haunted.”

Natalia just looked at Kaidan, were they really going to do this? But the battle light in his eyes told her what she already knew. This man would never turn down a chance to fight. They sat at a table near the fire with the simple meal they purchased.

“Natalia, come on. This will be a good opportunity to earn a bit of coin.”

She sighed into her mug of cider. He had a point. Money would be helpful, arrows didn’t grow on trees. 

“Fine, but we’re not doing it tonight. We’ll do it in the morning. First light. “

The smile he gave her warmed her down to her toes. She was probably going to regret this.

Natalia slept poorly. Perhaps because of the pieces of straw that kept poking through the tick cover and into her skin, or the rowdy crowd of regulars that stayed late into the night. Needless to say, she was not cheerful when the first sun’s rays lit her small room. The cold water in the basin helped to chase the cobwebs out of her brain, but did little to improve her mood. She combed her hair and rebraided it, jamming her hood on with more force than necessary. Her cloak and quiver and bow dropped into place but felt like iron ingots on her shoulders. She hoped there was something decent for breakfast. 

Luck was with her, the innkeeper’s wife had baked some fresh sweet rolls, studded with dried fruit, glazed with sweet icing. Natalia bought two and a pot of tea, figuring to share with Kaidan. She tried to shrug off disappointment when he was nowhere in the room. When he finally did appear, she hid her smile in her book. He sat down and poured some tea for himself.

“There you are. I got you a sweet roll. They’re fresh.”

“Thanks for that.” He pulled the pastry apart with deft fingers, licking the sticky icing that clung to them, which drove Natalia to distraction. She stored her book in her satchel and tossed back the remains of her tea.

“Are you about ready?”

He popped the last bite of sweet roll in his mouth and nodded.

“Let’s go.”

The entrance to Shroud Hearth Barrow seemed innocuous enough in the morning sunlight, but of course, appearances were not to be trusted. The heavy iron doors swung open almost silently and they made their way down a spiral staircase lit by torches. There was no sound but their footsteps and the occasional drip of water. It took a few moments for Natalia’s eyes to adjust to the gloom, which resulted in a bruised shin tripping over a partially collapsed pillar. She motioned Kaidan to a stop just inside the main corridor.

“Those doors opened pretty easily for a place that’s only used to house the dead. I think someone else is in here. Maybe bandits or someone else up to no good.”

“That’s possible. Then we should be exceedingly careful...and quiet, if possible.”

“Oh you’ve room to talk, clanking around like a sack full of dwemer scrap,” she hissed,rubbing her abused shin slightly as she followed Kaidan. They’d only moved two feet when an apparition appeared. Glowing blue-white in the darkness of the crypt, it waved its arms, moaning in a low voice.

“Leave…this...place…”

It turned and vanished down a corridor. Natalia looked at Kaidan incredulously. What on Nirn was this about? There was little choice but to follow the spectre. The turn lead them down a short flight of stairs, Kaidan restrained her with his arm, nodding his head to indicate that the ghost was in the chamber to their left. Natalia shifted quietly to a better vantage point, nocking an arrow just in case.

The chamber was lit by a brightly burning fire and a Dunmer male was standing beside it, wiping his skin with a cloth to remove the blue glowing substance. Natalia narrowed her eyes in irritation. Not a ghost at all, just a person trying to scare the village folk. She caught Kaidan’s eye and jerked her head. As soon as they darkened the doorway, the elf turned on them, sword flashing. It took less than a moment for Kaidan to cut him down where he stood. The immediate attack startled Natalia; she’d been prepared to simply talk to the “ghost” and tell him to stop frightening people. There was a leather bound journal on the table near the fire, next to a Claw Key, with sapphires inlaid. Natalia skimmed through it, hoping it would shed some light on what the Dunmer had been doing in the Barrow. The more she read, the more uneasy she felt about the whole thing. Finally she closed the book and tucked it into her satchel, with the claw. 

“So, what’s his story?” Kaidan prodded the body with a booted foot. 

“Well, it started as a way to keep people away from the barrow while he searched for the claw, but apparently once he found it, he started to lose his mind. He wrote that he was being haunted by other ghosts. I think whatever he unlocked disturbed something sleeping down here.”

“Guess we better go and lay it to rest, huh?”

Natalia sighed. She had really been hoping for a quick and easy job this time. 

“Guess we better. Let’s try not to die, okay?”

Kaidan only winked at her as he finished perusing the shelves of the single bookcase. He passed her a few potions, a brief sniff told her they were healing and magicka boosters. The stamina potion he tucked into his own pack.

“Not that I have any trouble with stamina,” he grinned at Natalia. She just rolled her eyes and looked away. Ridiculous man. She rolled her shoulders to loosen tense muscles and wondered if she would ever become accustomed to being afraid like this. 

“ Aren’t you even a bit afraid, Kai? I mean, this place is probably crawling with ghosts and draugr and gods only know what else.”

Kaidan chuckled as he sheathed his sword again and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Brynjar used to say, if you’re not a little afraid, you’re not fully understanding the situation. So I’ve had years of practice dealing with fear. You’ll get there, too.”

“Yeah, maybe. If I don’t die first.” 

The claw did in fact, turn out to be a key. The Nords were obviously of the opinion that if it worked once, it would again. The first few hallways were quiet. Maybe too quiet, Natalia thought. Just as she went to step through a doorway, she pulled up short, Kaidan sidestepped to avoid running into her. She pointed to the flagstone in the doorway, faintly marked with some sort of pattern.

“This place is riddled with traps.” No sooner were the words spoken as she heard the telltale shuffling of draugr moving toward them. Kaidan’s sword hissed out of its sheath, but she gestured for him to wait. Crouching in the shadows, she watched three draugr move into the next chamber. When they reached the center, she cast the fire spell, hitting the spilled oil on the floor, igniting all the draugr at once. 

They were little more than ash when she and Kaidan passed through the chamber once the fire was extinguished. 

“So that’s the magick you’ve been working on with that book?” Kaidan’s voice was a hoarse whisper.

“Yes. If we can work some of these traps against them, maybe we’ll 1) survive and 2) waste fewer arrows. “

The tunnels took them further down and they walked carefully, keeping eyes out for more of the marked stone that indicated a trap of some kind. Kaidan didn’t step quite quickly enough once and triggered a swinging gate with wicked spikes. Fortunately, he caught it before it could hit him, and only bloodied his hands a bit. Natalia tossed him a healing potion with a smirk.

The next chamber was larger and they made it only halfway inside before the tell tale crack of an opening sarcophagus, and then another, and another. Natalia couldn’t hear over the blood pounding in her veins. There was more than a few of these buggers, and they were well-armed. Back to back with Kaidan in the center, she aimed for the closest ones, hitting more than she missed, which slowed them down but didn’t really stop them. She heard Kaidan speaking and struggled to tune in.

“No matter what, you stay with me. We stay in the middle. We can take them.” 

“All right.” She took aim again, putting an arrow right in the creature’s eye and he toppled like a tree. The draugr were getting too close for her to shoot. She slung her bow across her back and drew her sword. 

“How many, Kai? I’ve got three, and one down.”

“Four on this side. Here we go.”

The world fuzzed out for her. Her focus narrowed to the three dead things shambling towards her, and any ways she could think of to stop them. Sparks crackled in her fingers as she threw lightning across the floor. One more fell, and her smile was a feral snarl on her lips. Kaidan moved behind her and the swish and thud of his sword hitting its mark was music to her. The draugr that reached her first wielded a great sword, swinging it with alarming swiftness for a corpse. Natalia ducked and sidestepped and spun until she got behind it. The point of her blade sank between its shoulder blades, and it too, tumbled to the ground. The last one never saw her coming, a fire spell reduced it to cinders. 

The dust settled and she stood, panting in the center of the room. Kaidan was cleaning his blade, humming a tune under his breath. 

“Holy Akatosh. Are we done? Are there more?” She really hoped not. 

“Not in this room. I think we’re getting close to the end of this place, so hopefully not too many more. You did well, Natalia. We’ll make you a warrior yet.”

“Ha! I got lucky mostly. Up close combat isn’t really my forte.”

Walking further around the perimeter of the room,she flexed her arms and shoulders, trying to determine if her muscles were just protesting the work, or if she was injured. The chest sat in a dim corner, but the sight of it made her forget her soreness.

“Kai, a chest!” She called to him as she dug through her pack for a lockpick. But this chest wasn’t locked. Inside, a tangle of jewelry, silver and gold reposed, with not a speck of dust. She was holding up a beautiful pendant of Dibella when Kaidan finally made his way over. 

“Well you don’t need that one, for sure, “ he knelt beside her and began to count the coin in the leather sack. 

“What? The Divine of Beauty doesn’t suit me?” She laughed as she set the necklace aside.

“You’re already beautiful,as you well know. Add the charm of Dibella and the men will be after you like slavering dogs. We’ll have to boot them out of the way to get anything done.” Natalia stopped and stared at him for a full minute before looking away, smiling to herself. So, he thought she was pretty. That was interesting. They divided the jewels and gold in half, as they had before, but Natalia called dibs on the Dibella amulet. Of course she wasn’t going to wear it, but it would sell for a nice price in town. 

The tunnels seemed narrower after the big room, but that changed again soon enough as they opened another set of iron doors into an even bigger room. The ebony coffins stood like sentries around the room with another one in the center. At the back of the room, Natalia could just make out a gray wall with strange glyphs, like those in Bleak Falls. A few of them were...glowing. But glowing runes would have to wait, as their presence had been noted.

The crack of the lids breaking open was going to haunt her nightmares. She grabbed her bow and started firing on the draugr as they attempted to rise from their slumber. Kaiden did the same on the opposite side of the room, only switching to his sword when they had whittled the numbers to the single digits. Natalia turned just in time to see him take a hit from a war axe brandished by one of the last of them and fall to one knee. Her cry of rage may have startled it, but the lightning bolt that followed dropped it dead on the stone floor. Kaidan was getting to his feet as she raced across the room. 

“Hey, take it easy. Where are you hurt?”

“Natalia, I’m fine. I’ve had worse, I promise.”

“Shut up and be still. Let me help you.” The healing spell glowed golden in her hands as she lay them on his midsection, where the blade had gone beneath the steel plate and cut through the leather underneath. She checked him for other injuries as the skin knit itself back together. 

“I promise I’m okay, but if you wanted to get your hands on me, all you had to do was ask.” Natalia snatched her hands back as though she’d been burned and rolled her eyes as he smirked down at her. 

“Back to the situation at hand…I’m betting that whatever is in the box in the middle is going to be extra ugly.”

“Let’s be ready for it. If we kill it before it can get out, so much the better.”

“Worth a try,” Natalia nodded, pulling her sword.

The sarcophagus cracked when they were three paces away, so they ran to catch it, stabbing it with vigor and enthusiasm. The draugr never stood a chance. 

The wall with the weird writing on it beckoned to her and so she moved towards it while Kaidan scoured the room for any other traps or enemies. Natalia wondered if he could see the glowing runes, or if it was only her. They pulled her in, dimming her vision and filling her head with the sound of wind but also a word. If she had to guess, it was the word that glowed. Her vision cleared and she shook her head. Hopefully the Greybeards could help her make more sense of it.

Turning back, she found Kaidan trying to pick a lock on a chest. It didn’t seem to be going well, evidenced by his stormy countenance. 

“Here let me get that. You’re just going to break it.” A few deft turns and the chest was open. More coin and jewels sat inside and Natalia beamed at Kaidan. 

“This hero business would be profitable work if it weren’t so terrifying.”

They made their way out through the door in the corner, which dropped them into the main hall after a lengthy hike over uneven stone. The sun was low in the sky when they emerged into the fresh cold air. Tired and bruised, they reported to the innkeeper that the ghost of the barrow was no more and the town was safe. So pleased to hear that news, he bade them keep the claw key, as payment for a job well done, along with free rooms for the night.

Natalia sat next to Kaidan at a table. She wasn’t all that hungry, but he was adamant that she should eat something. The roasted salmon with potatoes and leeks was quite tasty, but she really just wanted to sleep. She finished more than half of it, gave Kai a pat on the shoulder and shuffled off to her room. Her head hit the pillow and she was asleep before her next breath.


	11. Frozen

A nightmare woke Kaidan from a deep sleep, cold sweat trickling down his bare chest. The urge to make sure Natalia was all right seized him and he was out of bed and knocking on her door before he stopped to realize he was only wearing his trousers. She opened the door, blinking sleepy eyes at the light.

"Kai, what's wrong?"

Damn it, now that he was properly awake, he felt foolish. 

"I wanted to check on you, make sure you're okay."

He'd woken her up from badly needed sleep because he had a nightmare. This was ridiculous. He turned to go back to his room, but she grabbed his belt and tugged him into her room. 

"Oh no, you're not running away till you tell me what the problem is."

"Natalia, what are you thinking, pulling a half dressed man into your room and shutting the door?"

"Half dressed man should have thought of that before he knocked on my door. I'm unlikely to lose control of myself this early in the morning; your virtue is safe,"she sat on the rumpled bed, in her chemise, and he struggled not to think about how thin the fine linen looked. He was hardly some untried youth, unable to cope with his desire for a lovely woman. Kaidan pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to get a hold of himself.

"I'm sorry to have disturbed you. I had a terrible nightmare and I was anxious to make sure you were safe. I should have just waited. "

"What was it about? The nightmare, I mean?"

"Can't really say. There was fire, lots of it. And you were laying on the floor, bleeding."

"That sounds pretty awful. I'm sorry it woke you. I appreciate that you were concerned enough to check on me. And timely, since I should be awake anyway if we’re to get an early start.”

She stood, and he was distracted again as she moved about the room, collecting her clothes from the chair near the bed. He should definitely return to his room. Shivering a bit in the early morning chill, he slipped out of her room and back to his own to get dressed for the day. And do his level best not to dwell any further on a sleep-tousled Natalia in a gossamer thin gown. 

For about a minute, the thought of moving on after escorting her up to High Hrothgar flitted through his mind. If he had any sense, he would move on, before the woman got her hooks any further into him. But he knew it was the last thing in the world he could be persuaded to do. 

Natalia emerged as he was double checking his weapons. A woolen scarf was wrapped snugly around her neck and shoulders and a fur lined vest lay over the top of her leather armour. Obviously, she was prepared for the cold climb that awaited them. The Seven Thousand Steps was only undertaken by the most dedicated of pilgrims, Kaidan just hoped that they wouldn’t run into trouble. 

Of course there would be a frost troll. What else could be expected on a treacherous path up the face of a mountain? Kaidan heard it before he saw it and pulled his bow. He’d rather not get up close to that sort of creature. Natalia stopped him before he loosed the arrow and grinned at him as she covered the steel head of his arrow with her hand. When the arrow struck, the troll burst into flames. Two more arrows put the beast down for good. 

“That was a clever trick. What made you think of it?”

“Well, you said it was a Frost troll. So I figured fire would be its natural enemy. Trolls are pretty hardy, and I didn’t want to waste more time than was needed.”

They plodded on through the blowing snow. Kaidan could see Natalia shiver when the frigid wind slipped through the front of her cloak, making it to High Hrothgar before sundown was essential. It was too cold to spend the night on the mountain. He picked up his pace a bit and smiled to himself when she jogged to keep up.

“I was just thinking, other than you being from Cyrodil, I don’t know much about you.”

“What do you want to know about me?”

“What’s your family like? Do you miss them?”

“We lived outside of Cheydinhall, as I mentioned. It was a fair sized farm, my father’s family had worked the land for three generations. We grew the usual crops, of course, which we sold to the inns and guilds. And we raised livestock. It was a lot of work, but we did pretty well.

My younger sister wanted to join the Mages Guild, which she did when she was sixteen. My older brother has long been a soldier in the Imperial Legion. He’s a Legate. We hadn’t seen him in about six months when I left home. But he always wrote letters to my mother, to let her know he was safe.”

“Did he teach you to fight?” The snow was slowing down, now. He hoped that meant they would soon reach their destination.

“Yes. He taught both me and my sister, once we were strong enough to wield a sword. My mother is the one who taught me archery though. She was an amazing shot.”

“Well, you come by it honestly, then. You’re a hell of an archer, Natalia.” From the corner of his eye, he saw her blush and smile. He was beginning to count the smiles he earned from her. That didn’t bode well for him at all. As much as he told himself that she wouldn’t be interested in someone like him, with no family and few prospects, he couldn’t help but hope.

As they took the next turn, he saw the looming grey fortress of High Hrothgar. He would be glad to be out of the snow. 

“Is that it, Kai?” She stopped next to him, squinting up at the huge monastery.

“I certainly hope so. Let’s go see.”

Luckily it didn’t take Arngeir, the leader of the Greybeards, long to decide that Natalia was indeed Dragonborn. Her thu’um echoed like thunder in the smallish room. They looked somewhat askance at him, but seemed to accept his presence. Kaidan rolled out his bedroll on the fur-heaped stone slab that served as a bed. It was warm enough and dry and would do for now. A tap on the door intruded on his thoughts as Natalia popped her head in.

“May I come in?”

“Sure, of course.”

“I’m right next door.”

“Yeah, I had some words with Arngeir. He wanted to put me in a room in the opposite wing. I wasn’t having any of that.”

“Oh really?” She raised an eyebrow at him and instantly he could feel a flush creeping up his face. He turned and began to fiddle with something in his pack before she could see.

“Well, I still owe you a debt. I can hardly protect you from way over there, can I?”

“Kai…”

“Natalia…” 

“All right, have it your way then. I just came in to say that dinner is served. If you care to join us?” 

“All right. I’ll be there.” She nodded and withdrew, closing the door behind her.

He removed the cuirass and pauldrons, setting them with his greaves off to the side. The water in the pitcher by the washbasin was warm as he washed hurriedly. He retrieved his spare linen shirt and pulled the new jerkin he’d bought in Whiterun over it. The deep red woolen garment had been more expensive than anything he’d ever owned, save his armour, but he couldn’t wear clanking steel plate around a place meant for peace and learning. It seemed his time with Natalia would be broadening his horizons. 

She was sitting next to Arngeir at the dining table when he came in. In the middle of a sentence, she saw him and just stopped, a slow smile spreading across her face. Kaidan knew at that moment, not only was the cost of the jerkin irrelevant, but that he would buy a dozen like it to make her look at him like that. He sat down across from her, directed by the silent gesture of one of the Greybeards. It had not taken long to figure out that none of them, save Arngeir, ever spoke. It wasn’t really a hardship, since he wasn’t particularly loquacious himself. 

The seared salmon was delicious. He didn’t know who did the cooking among the order, but they were skilled. Arngeir regarded him with due caution. Clearly, they hadn’t expected the Dragonborn to arrive with a companion. 

“You have known Natalia long, Kaidan?”

“Maybe two weeks now. It’s not so much the time as the intensity. Once you’ve faced down a dragon and the restless dead, you form a fast bond.”

“He was living such a dull life, locked up by the Thalmor, and I thought I would save him from that monotony.” Natalia sent him a wink across her wine goblet as she sipped.

Arngeir’s eyebrows had climbed nearly to his hairline. The old man was clearly unaccustomed to such a dynamic at his dinner table, but their casual comraderie resulted in several smiles from the other members at the table. 

“Where are you from, if you don’t mind?” 

“I don’t really know. I never knew my parents, but my guardian was a Nord and he raised me as one, after the death of my mother.”

“I wondered about that. I didn’t think you were a Nord, Kai, you certainly don’t look like one.” Natalia eyed him with her curiosity plain on her face. He didn’t really blame her, he’d not shared much of his past with her. 

“No, that Atmoran ice doesn’t run in my veins. But I don’t really know what does, so it’ll do for now, I guess. Any more questions?” This last was aimed at Arngeir, who merely smiled at him. 

“High Hrothgar is open to you, Kaidan, companion of the Dragonborn. We wish you to be comfortable here while we train her in the way of the Voice.”

“So how long will that take?”

“That depends on her, of course.” He saw Natalia rolling her eyes at the two men discussing her.

“Well then I’m sure we’ll be out of your way in no time. Natalia is a quick study. Do you have a library here?”

“Yes, we do. You are welcome to browse our collection for anything of interest to you.”

“I’ll do that.”

After dinner, he walked Natalia back to her room, his fingers just brushing the fine fabric of the long tunic she wore over her breeches. She’d taken off her armor as well, and he enjoyed the dull blue color against her pale skin. 

“So I’m going to be training and you’re going to...lie around all day reading a book?” 

“Maybe I am. I’ve been training with a sword since I was old enough to hold one. I’d like to train my brain a bit, maybe broaden my thinking. I have to be able to keep up with the Dragonborn after all.” He smiled and gave her short braid a tug, which earned him a shove that didn’t even push him off course. They came to a stop outside her bedchamber and she turned to him in the dim light of the torches that lined the hallway. 

“Well, good night. I’ll see you in the morning I guess.”

“Good night, Natalia. Sleep well.” She opened the door and was halfway through before she turned back.

“Oh Kaidan? I like the new jerkin. It...um, suits you.”

He bowed, ever so slightly, like he’d seen the fancy courtiers do in places like Solitude.

“You’re very kind, my lady.”

Returning to his room, he stoked the fire that had burned low and sat for a while in the chair before it. Never in his life did he ever think he would be anywhere like this. If anyone had told Kaidan that he would not only be a guest at a monastery but that he would find it enjoyable, he’d have thought them crazier than a daedra worshipper. He'd never been much of an intellectual, had no patience with the sort of folk who just sat around in colleges and talked about big ideas but never doing anything.

Here was where Natalia needed to be and he, despite his best intentions, needed to be with her. Shaking off the reverie, he undressed in the dim fire light and slid into the warmth of his bedroll. 


	12. Voice of Dragons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably note that this story will walk alongside canon, possibly even hold hands with it; but will not be going back to canon's place for a nightcap. Just FYI

Natalia was well beyond restless. Time seemed to move so slowly on the mountain. It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate the Greybeards' help. She did. It was good to finally understand, more or less, the weird glyphs that she kept running into everywhere, and why they called to her. Dovahzhul, they called it. Dragon language. They taught her to hone and use her thu’um so it would be most effective. How and when to use the words of power they taught her. When she wasn’t in the courtyard training with Brother Borri or Arngeir, she was in the library, looking for any useful information on that big black dragon from Helgen and the Dragonborn.

Kaidan seemed to be enjoying the quiet. Every day he was in the library, deeply immersed in various books. She always chose a seat out of sight, or else she would find herself staring when she should be reading. The way the light would play when he raked his fingers through his black hair. 

On their third day at High Hrothgar, he found her in the meditation chamber and dropped her sword in front of her. She opened her eyes and glared up at him. She hated meditation and he wasn’t helping.

“Come on. I won’t have you going soft.”

“Kai, I’m meditating.”

“Yeah, well, do it with your sword in your hand. That might be actually useful. Get your armour on and meet me in the courtyard.”

He dragged her outside in the cold every afternoon thereafter for training. Her aching muscles protested the hard use. As an opponent, he gave no quarter, but he was skilled enough to avoid causing her major injury. Every time his blade met hers, the impact rolled up her arms into her shoulders. Natalia knew the training was good — maybe even necessary, since who knew what was waiting for her in the world outside. Occasionally, she just wanted to drop her blade in the snow and walk away. She had not asked for this destiny; all she wanted was to make her way in the world, with as little trouble as possible. But when she squared off against Kai in the sun-washed stillness of the mountain summit, the realization that her simple life was over hit her like an arrow between the eyes. Her worries began to crowd her dreams, and as much as she hated it, she had to admit that she was afraid. She couldn’t seem to banish her fear, so she hid it. No one needed to know.

He was honing his blade on a whetstone wheel when Natalia emerged from the library into the sunlit courtyard. She had to admit that he had more than a way with that sword of his. How he managed to move so fast in all that armour never failed to impress her. The sunlight flashed off the blade as it arced and scythed through the air, reminding Natalia of something she’d read that morning. She waited for him to stop, not wanting to disrupt his concentration.

“Kaidan!” She waved as she walked across the paver stones. He sheathed his sword and smiled at her. 

“Morning, Dragonborn. Done shouting at stuff for the day?”

“Will you stop calling me Dragonborn? You know my name.” They had some version of this exchange almost daily.

“All right, Natalia, I’ll stop teasing. What is it you wanted?”

“May I see your sword?”

“My sword?”

“Yes. Just for a moment.”

He shrugged and pulled it out, handing it over to her by the hilt. It was a beautiful sword, Kai obviously took great care of it. The runes etched on the blade were faded, but she could still read them. And now she could finally translate them as well.

“It says, ‘Search the bones of our ancient enemies.’ It’s Dovazhul, Kai. Dragon tongue. I found these glyphs in my studies.”

“Dragon language? But what does it mean?”

“That’s where I run into trouble. I don’t know what sort of sword this is, and so ‘ancient enemy’ could be, well, anybody. But if you want me to, I’d like to help you figure it out.”

“You’d do that for me?”

“Well, of course. We’re friends, aren’t we?” He seemed genuinely surprised at her offer. This troubled Natalia.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something actually. When we started out, I owed you a life debt. Given our various adventures, most people would say that debt has been repaid.”

Natalia felt her heart sinking to her toes. Was he leaving? Of course, he might have plans for his life, and now Natalia felt even worse for holding him back.

“So is this goodbye, Kaidan?” She couldn’t look at him, couldn’t bear to have him see her heart in her eyes. 

“No, that’s not what I’m trying to say. I’m wondering if maybe you’d want me to stay with you, traveling or whatever. Not for payment, or as an obligation, but as your friend?”

Natalia restrained herself from hugging him, unwise with his armor. And it was probably too soon for hugs. So she settled for a smile that made her face ache.

“Absolutely Kai, you never had to ask.”

Kaidan’s smile always made her feel like she was standing too close to a fire. This was no exception. She dropped her gaze to the sword hilt as she returned it to him.

“Come on, let’s get to work.”

He wasn’t any easier on her in their mock combat, even as a friend. The sun was sinking low behind the mountain but they were still at it, hammer and tongs. Natalia was tired and hungry, and just once, she lowered her blade. Kai’s sword came crashing down on her shoulder, glancing off her armour only because he pulled back a bit when he saw she had missed the block. It still hurt like dragon fire. Natalia’s Elven blade fell with a clatter as she grabbed her shoulder while the pain radiated through her. 

Kaidan sheathed his sword in an instant and batted her hands away so he could check her for injury.

“Didn’t break through, but you’ll probably bruise. What was that about, Natalia? You know better than to lower your guard like that.”

Tired, hungry, and in pain, Natalia considered shouting him right off the mountain. She wouldn’t of course, but it was tempting. 

“Of course I do, but I can’t hold my bloody sword up forever. I’m not a warrior. I keep telling you that.”

She turned and tried to walk, or possibly stomp, away, but he caught up with her at the entrance to the main hall. His gloved hand wrapped tight around her elbow as he guided her inside and into the first empty room. His sword was sheathed, but hers was in his other hand.

“Kaidan, why are we here? I'm hungry, and I want a bath.”

“I need you to listen, but you are not going to like what you hear.”

Natalia sat on a nearby bench. She’d never seen his face so solemn. Was he changing his mind about staying with her?

“I know this training is hard. Swordplay isn’t something you enjoy and it’s not your strongest skill. That is why we need to train while we have this time. I’m not leaving you, but even I can’t stop everything, I need to know that you can defend yourself. Shouts and magic are all well and good, but every warrior needs to be versatile, or they die. I don’t want you to die, Natalia.”

“Believe me, I don’t want to die either." Her words sounded like a child’s, even to her own ears. She understood the wisdom of his words, but she was just so tired. And scared.

“Dragonborn you may be, but even heroes of legend need to work on their craft.”

Everything inside of Natalia just boiled over. She leapt to her feet, pacing anxiously. 

“And what if I don’t want to be Dragonborn? I’m not some bloody hero, Kai. I just wanted to live my life, and then this happened to me. No one ever asked me what I wanted, they just assumed I was some living legend and would solve all their problems.”

Her pacing stopped with her inches from him, arms akimbo, and though her voice hadn’t risen above a normal speaking tone, her throat felt raw. Tears threatened and she choked them back. She was not going to complete her humiliation by crying. 

Kaidan set her sword aside. He stepped beside her, wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gave a gentle squeeze.

“No one asks for these things, Natalia. We’re given them, and then we do our best with what we have. Maybe you don’t feel like a warrior right now, but you should, because you are one. I’m proud to fight beside you, and prouder still to call you friend.”

If he said one more word, she was going to cry. 

“Come on, a hot bath and some food will help.”

She sniffled a bit, and followed him back to her room, sword in hand. 


	13. Fortune Favors the Foolish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to give a big shout-out and thank you to my friend and awesome comma-wrangling beta, MinP1072. I'd be lost without her.

Kaidan led Natalia to her room, where she slumped into a chair near the fire. He stirred the flame a bit, to take the chill from the air. She still looked pale to him and the shadows under her eyes told him she wasn’t sleeping well. As helpful as the Greybeards had been, he couldn’t help but think that they had just piled too much weight on her young shoulders. They looked at her and saw a legend, but he only saw Natalia. She was strong, powerful even, but she didn’t know how to marshal that power. Every new obligation weighed heavily on someone already overburdened. He could understand the despair that she tried so hard to hide. 

“Why don’t you have that bath and I’ll get you some wine to start with — if you promise to eat a meal afterwards. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you pushing your food around and not eating it.”

The grimace twisted her pretty face, but it made him laugh. Did she really think that he ever took his eyes off of her? He would be genuinely surprised if she wasn’t aware of his regard for her. He kept trying to tell himself that it was only honor or companionship that drew him to her, but even he was beginning to doubt his motivations. He left her sitting by the fire and went to find the kitchen.

One of the Greybeards was happy enough to give him a bottle of spiced wine and a wine glass. Kaidan made his way to the bathing chamber to leave them for her, idly thinking about how he could tempt Natalia’s appetite for dinner. Perhaps some of the venison he had brought back to the monastery the previous day. He was halfway through the doorway when the sound of splashing water stopped him cold. Natalia was in the bath. Usually, being the only female, she would place a flower in a vase in the hallway alcove to let them know the bath was in use. Either she’d forgotten or he’d been so lost in his own head he’d not seen it. 

The small grace was that her back was to him as she stood hip deep in the hot water. The steam rose around her and he could smell the lavender she’d added to the water. For three whole seconds, though it seemed an eternity, he just stared. She was as delicate as a gleamblossom, but stronger than an Orcish blade. He wondered just for a moment, how it would feel to slip into the bath behind her. Trace the line of her spine from the nape of her neck to her rounded hips, have her smile at him, welcoming and warm. The crack of the glass in his hand brought him back to Nirn with a heavy dose of shame. Spying on a lady in her bath. He turned from the room blindly, and made his way back to the kitchen. He’d need someone to help him get these glass shards out of his palm. 

His wounds were bandaged but still smarting when he knocked at her door, tray balanced on his arm. He was hoping he could manage to look her in the eyes after his errant folly of earlier. Her voice was quiet as she bade him enter, and he saw she was immersed in a book by the fire, covered by a heavy robe such as the monks wore. 

“Borri has outdone himself with the venison stew, so I brought you some with fresh bread. And that wine I promised you earlier.”

Natalia tore her eyes from the page she was studying and smiled at him. 

“My little breakdown must have worried you to warrant all this coddling. I should have them more often. Maybe you’ll stop kicking my ass.” She moved the candelabra on the table so he could set down the tray he carried. 

“I’ll stop kicking your ass when you start kicking mine.” The wine was a rich and heavy one, so dark it was almost black as he poured it into the glass. She took it, then swore when she saw the bandages on his hand.

“Kai, what have you done here?” She seized his hand and started unbinding it.

“Natalia, it’s nothing. I broke a glass in the kitchen.”

Her eyes met his and the lift of one brow told him she knew he was lying.

“You should have come straight to me; now you’re going to have scars.” The golden glow of her healing spell shimmered in the air, and the cuts began to knit themselves together. Her magick was cool on his skin, with an icy tingle that made him shiver a bit. The glow faded, and she sat back in her chair and sipped her wine as he flexed his hand and fingers.

“Do you not trust me to heal you, Kaidan?” The question was quiet.

“What? No! Of course I trust you. I just didn’t want to bother you with such a minor injury.”

She was staring into her glass still. When he took it from her hand, she didn’t protest. He knelt at her feet, tipping her face to meet her eyes.

“I trust you with my life. And I know you know that, so what’s going on in that head of yours?”

Her green eyes flickered in the low light, to the fire and then back to meet his gaze.

“I’m so scared, Kaidan. All the time. I don’t know what to do.“

“What comes next. You just have to take one step at a time. No one expects you to save the world right now.”

She smiled a little bit, so he stood up and took his seat. She pulled the bowl of stew closer and took a bite of it, closing her eyes to better savor the flavors the way she did when something was pleasing to her palate. Kaidan shifted a bit and tried to look elsewhere. It was too easy to imagine other, more illicit ways he could put that expression on her face, and that was not what she needed right now. He retrieved his own bowl from the tray; at least  _ this _ hunger he could feed. 

They finished dinner and for once, Natalia ate heartily. Half the bottle of wine was gone when she yawned sleepily. Kaidan piled the dishes on the tray, preparing to return to the kitchen.

“Maybe you should get some rest, yeah? Tomorrow we’ll talk to Arngeir and see what he says about your training. Perhaps it’s time to go home to Whiterun for a bit.”

A tired smile and nod was his answer. She rose from the chair, and he froze as she unclasped her robe and let it fall to the floor. He’d seen her in her chemise before, though, and he refused to let it rattle him this time. He kept his eyes on her face, wished her good night and left.

Later, finally settled in his own room, the various images crowded behind his closed eyes. Natalia, sleek and wet in a pool of warm water; fierce and determined in her leather armour; tired and pale with her shattered eyes. His body was strung tight with arousal so potent it was almost painful. It was tempting to simply...relieve it. He’d done it before, because there was no shame in having needs. Tonight it didn’t feel right to him, with her being so distraught. He rolled onto his side and willed himself to sleep.

The first scream woke him from a dead sleep. He was out of bed, dagger in hand, in less than a moment. The second scream tore through his brain like a knife. Natalia. He threw open her door to find her sleeping, but obviously in the grips of a terrible nightmare. 

Kaidan dropped his dagger on the table and went to her bed. She didn’t wake when he touched her arm. Tears streamed from her closed eyes and she was muttering something in a language he didn’t understand. He took a firm grip on her shoulders and gave them a gentle shake.

“Natalia, wake up, sweetheart. You’re having a nightmare.”

Her eyes fluttered open and she looked around, confused.

“It’s me, it’s Kai. You’re safe.”

Finally, she seemed to register his presence beside her. He wasn’t prepared for her to fling herself into his arms, crying. He eased himself down to sit on the edge of the bed and cradled her in his arms as best he could, making soothing noises, hoping to stop the tears he could feel dripping on the bare skin of his chest.

The tears ran dry at last and he shifted her off his lap and back to her bed. She grabbed his hand before he could move very far.

“Stay. Please.”

He could no more deny her than he could fly. Pulling a chair near the bed, he sat with his back to the wall. Natalia found his hand again and kept it tightly clasped in her own. He grabbed her discarded robe for a blanket and watched over her until he fell asleep. 


	14. Home is the Hunter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't noticed, I love writing domestic stuff.

They were halfway to Whiterun before Natalia felt she could breathe freely again. They’d left High Hrothgar, retrieved their horses at Ivarstead and got on the road to Whiterun as quickly as possible. The Greybeards had sent them on their way with good wishes, and a task. Of course there would be task. Retrieve the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller from the tomb where it lay. Why were these things  _ always _ in tombs? They passed the Meadery and stopped at the stables to return the horses the Jarl had loaned. Truth be told, Natalia was happy to walk the last bit to her house -- riding always made her sore. 

The torches were lit beside the front door, a welcome view from the road. Natalia felt like she’d aged three years since they had left, though it had only been about ten days. If ever a house was glad to welcome someone home, this one seemed to be. The fires blazed in their hearths, the lamps were lit, the air fresh and fragrant with dried herbs. 

“I guess the Caretaker is glad we’re back?” Kaidan wondered aloud as he shrugged off his cloak and satchel on the way to his bedroom. Natalia did the same, rolling her shoulders to release tension. The pack didn’t seem so heavy this time. She hoped that meant she was getting a bit stronger, Kai’s training finally paying off. She emptied the bag onto the bed, trying to find the dress she had purchased at Ivarstead. She would have preferred to make her own clothes, but with everything, there had not been much time for domestic arts. Maybe tomorrow she would go into Whiterun, sell some of the treasure they’d found in their tomb-delving and buy some decent fabric. 

The buckles of her armor snapped loose easily now, and she slipped out of it with a sigh. A nice hot bath to wash the travel dust from her skin would be exactly the remedy she needed.

The sun was low in the afternoon sky when she found Kaidan at the forge behind the house, honing the blade on her sword. His own sat next to the wheel, already razor sharp and gleaming in the sun. He looked up at her approach and smiled. 

“Is that the dress you bought at Ivarstead? Looks nice on you.”

“Thank you,” she brushed her hands down the snug grey bodice, with its black laces and sleeves of white linen. It wasn’t fancy, but it was better than a robe or armour. She was a firm believer that a woman should have more than two outfits, no matter her station in life.

“I’m headed to Whiterun to do some trading in the morning, do you want to join me?”

“I think I will. My cuirass needs repair, I need to take it to the smith.”

“I’d offer to try fixing it, but it’s likely too much for my meager blacksmithing skill.”

“You can smith? Really?”

“I can actually. I made the jewelry I usually wear. There was a smithy on our farm; he taught us the basics. I liked pretty things, so he taught me jewelry crafting when I asked.”

“That’s a handy skill to have.”

“Sadly not handy enough to repair your armour. But with practice, I’m sure I can learn.”

“Do I need to hunt this afternoon for fresh game?”

“Oh, no, I already did that. Brought down a deer in the meadow. Didn’t have to go far.”

Kaidan’s brow furrowed. Undoubtedly, he would now tell her she shouldn’t have gone out without him and it was dangerous country and all the usual tripe. Natalia was fully prepared to buttonhole that speech before it started. But it didn’t. 

“Good work. Since you killed it, I’ll do the cleaning. Sounds fair?”

She was glad he wasn’t looking at her, so the surprised expression on her face went unseen. 

“Yeah, sounds fair. I was going to cut a roast for dinner.”

“I’ll have it for you in less than an hour.”

Natalia walked around to the garden, pausing at the grave of the Caretaker to pay her respects. The garden had expanded since they’d been gone, both in produce and weeds, so she took some time to tidy the rows of vegetables before harvesting what she needed for the evening meal.

The venison roast came out well. She braised it with mead and added garlic and frost mirriam. Kaidan was quiet throughout the meal, but seemed to enjoy the food.

“Is there something on your mind, Kai?”

He stopped in mid-drink and set his cup down. 

“There was something I wanted to ask you. But I don’t want to upset you.”

“Well, go ahead and ask.”

“That nightmare you had at High Hrothgar. What was it about?”

Oh. Natalia drew a quiet breath. And then one more. That nightmare was still with her, in her mind. She had her share of bad dreams, but that had topped them all.

“Alduin. The World Eater.”

“Really? I thought he was mostly a myth.”

“So did I. But he’s real and he has returned. He was the black dragon from Helgen.”

“That dragon at Whiterun Watchtower…”

“Wasn’t the same dragon. It was smaller. A different color.”

She rose from the table and carried her plate to the wash basin. The soap was slippery in her hands as she scrubbed the plate and utensils. She felt Kaidan behind her and turned halfway to see him, looking at her with worried eyes.

“I’m sorry Natalia. I don’t mean to prod old wounds, or upset you.”

She summoned a smile for him as she dried her hands on a towel. For just a moment, she let her hand touch his arm, lingering on the hard muscle under the warm skin. The urge to slide her hand up to his chest, or even to his face was almost overwhelming; she pulled away before she did something foolish. A strange expression clouded his face for a brief minute, was it regret or was she projecting?

“It’s fine Kai, perfectly normal that you should ask, since you helped me through it. I meant to thank you, by the way, but I just couldn’t sort out the right words. “

“That’s what friends do, right? Help each other?” His smile was small but sincere. 

“Yes. That’s what friends do.” She took his empty plate from his hand and turned back to the basin. He moved away and she took a deep breath, trying to will away all her inconvenient feelings. 

He was sitting by the fire in the sitting room, lost in thought when she went to her room to sleep. Her quiet good night was met with a wordless murmur and so she left him to his thoughts.

Morning dawned in a pink and gold glory, the weather promised to be fine for a trip to town. Natalia washed her face and braided her hair before putting on her dress and lacing up her boots. A more thorough search of the wardrobe yielded a small pouch that could slide onto a belt or sash, and she decided that would be a good way to keep her hands free. Her dagger in its sheath went beside it. She gathered her cloak and the things she wished to sell and went to find Kaidan. 

He was standing at the cooking fire, stirring something in a frying pan. 

“I’m probably going to burn these, but I did try.”

“Smells good.”

“Just some eggs with some vegetables. I’m not exactly a seasoned chef.”

The eggs were only a bit crispy at the edges. Natalia ate every bite. 

The walk to Whiterun was enjoyable, the morning air was fresh and cool. They stopped at Adrienne’s forge just inside the city gates. Kaidan spoke with the smith about repairing his cuirass while Natalia consulted with Ulfberth about some arrows she wanted to trade for a glass dagger she had found. Having sealed their respective bargains, they continued toward the main market.

She didn’t care much for Belethor, who owned the general store, but he offered fair prices, so she couldn’t really complain. By the time she and Kaidan had done all their trading, they both had full satchels, and septims left over. Natalia was eager to get home and start working the silver ingots she’d purchased into jewelry fit for a Jarl. Belethor had been impressed with the jewelry they’d brought and encouraged her to bring in anything similar. 

Their walk home was quiet, each lost in their own thoughts. Kaidan seemed pleased with the repairs to his armour and the nice polish Adrienne had put on it. Natalia could hardly wait to stir up the fire in her smelter and get started.

She lost track of time, working at the forge. The silver was melted and rolled into wire and then hammered into a wide cuff bracelet. She was heating the metal again to try to set the amethysts into it. The sun had long gone down and now that she was aware of it, her belly felt hollow and empty. A noise behind her made her tighten her grip on the hammer, but loosened as she saw Kaidan approaching. 

“You’ve been at it for hours, Natalia. Maybe time for a break?”

He mounted the steps to the platform easily and handed her the plate he carried. He’d made her a sandwich. Her heart melted faster than the silver she worked. She set aside the hammer and moved away from the heat of the forge. Now that she was standing in front of him, so obviously freshly washed and shaved; she could feel the sweat rolling down her neck and the smears of soot and ash that probably covered her from head to toe. Setting the plate on a nearby table, she washed her hands clean in the hot spring pool. The rest would have to wait till she was done.

“Thanks for the sandwich. I didn’t even realize I’d been out here so long.”

“I was starting to worry that you’d been kidnapped by bandits. Had to come check on you.”

“I doubt the bandits would want me as I am, filthy and sweaty.”

“I can’t imagine anyone not wanting you, even filthy and sweaty.”

That stopped her in mid-breath. She waited for a laugh or something to tell her it was only a joke, but his face in the torchlight was...serious.

“I...what do you mean?”

He stepped close to her. The tip of his finger trailed down her cheek. So gently, only a ghost of a touch. Natalia felt as though her feet must be bolted to the floor, an entire herd of dragons could not have persuaded her to move at this moment.

“I mean, this.” His fingers tipped her face up to his and his lips brushed hers. Softly, asking for permission. Natalia was dumbstruck for all of a second before she rose on tiptoe to capture his lips properly. Her hands gripped his shirt as his slid into her hair. He angled her face and all his prior hesitance vanished like smoke. He tasted of cider and his lips were soft and sweet against hers as he devoured her mouth slowly. She shivered against him when his fingers tugged slightly on her hair. He finally pulled away by a fraction, but kept her face cradled in his hands. She couldn’t speak. She had no words for this. 

“I think about you, Natalia. As more than a friend. Probably in ways that I shouldn’t. But I needed you to know.”

“Kaidan.” It was the only word she could form. He dropped his hands and backed away. 

“Make sure you eat that sandwich. You shouldn’t let yourself go hungry.”

She stood there, utterly gobsmacked, as he retreated into the darkness. 


	15. How to Court Your Dragon

Kaidan spent a long restless night staring at the ceiling over his bed. He must have been daft, kissing Natalia like that. He sighed into the darkness. Who was he trying to fool? He'd do it again in a moment. If she shouted him off a cliff, he would still say it was worth it. The way she had sighed and shivered in his embrace made  _ him _ shiver, despite the warmth of the room. Then, of course, he'd just left her there. She came in about an hour afterward, he’d heard the door shut, but she hadn't sought him. He tried to tell himself it had been a long day, she was likely tired. She probably wanted to think things over. It wasn't as though she was obliged to return his affections. His traitorous brain mocked him with provocative thoughts. Although nothing could match the memory of her soft lips meshed with his-- the faint scrape of her teeth, the sigh as he had pulled away. Pulling the blankets snug over his chest, he willed himself to sleep with the taste of her still on his lips.

Dawn broke with little fanfare. He heard the sizzling sound of meat in a skillet and chivvied himself out of bed to wash and dress. It was still a bit strange, not putting on his armour. He'd worn it daily for so long, it was a part of him. The way of the sword was all he had known, all he thought he would ever know until the day it finally killed him. One of the more interesting aspects of being with Natalia was learning there were other ways of life, where not everything ended in blood.

Natalia was standing in the kitchen in one of the new dresses she'd bought in Whiterun yesterday. A deep forest green, with a black bodice laced up tightly. She looked like a spirit of the evergreen forest. From the smell, he guessed she was cooking the sausage they'd purchased yesterday. Her teeth bit into her full lower lip as she focused on her task and he tried not to stare. This was going to be a problem. He had kissed her, he knew her taste and the texture of her lips and now he wanted more. It was going to bloody haunt him. 

"Morning Kaidan. I thought we'd take today to rest and then head out for the Horn tomorrow. Think you'll be ready to go?"

"Sounds good."

"Breakfast will be ready in just a moment." Her movements around the kitchen were brisk and economical. She was as cool as a Windhelm breeze, with no trace of the woman who had returned his kiss so fiercely last night. 

Kaidan pondered while he enjoyed the hearty meal she heaped on a plate for him. Did she regret the kiss? They’d just agreed that they were friends a few days ago and then he pushed the boundaries. Maybe it was best to let it go for now. They had a job to do, and they both needed to be in fighting form. 

“So, what did you think?” Natalia’s voice broke into his thoughts. He scrambled for a moment, had she been discussing something important while he was woolgathering?

“What now?”

“About the sausage. Which you just wolfed down.” Her smile was easy, but her eyes knew his mind had been wandering.

“The sausage was good. Your cooking is always superb. If you keep feeding me though, I’m going to need new trousers.” 

“Well, I did buy a bolt of that black wool at the shop yesterday. So if the need arises, my needle stands ready.” 

Kaidan rose from the table and collected the plates to take to the wash basin, smiling. He wondered how the gods had chosen him for this life. Even as a child, he’d never had a home like this. He watched the soap bubble as the warm water ran over the dishes. Less than a month ago, he was relatively certain that the cold, half-flooded prison was the last place he would ever know. On a few of those days, he had wished for it. Wished for the pain and hunger and thirst to be over. Now he realized how glad he was that the Divines had sent Natalia to his rescue. He couldn’t feel sorry for himself if the result was that he was here, with her. 

He hoped he wasn’t tempting Fate to care for her as he did. Of course, there was the fact that she may never return his feelings, so he was being presumptuous to even worry about it. And what happened to his excellent plan of letting it go? He sighed quietly as he dried the dishes he had washed. Natalia was behind him at the oven, setting her bread to rise.

“What’s the matter, Kai?”

“What? Nothing.”

“You say that, but I know it’s not nothing.” She leaned against the countertop, eyes searching his face for...something. He schooled his expression to neutrality. 

“Oh yeah? Well, keep digging. Maybe you’ll make it to Akavir.”

“You’re a terrible liar.” She rolled her eyes and left him there gaping like a fish. The woman was a menace to his peace of mind. 

Midmorning, Kaidan rummaged through his pack. He knew he had stashed the little thing in there, he just needed to find it. Finally his fingers caught the bit of leather cord on which he had strung the charm. It still needed a bit of work, some smoothing at the curves. Today was a good day for it. It would keep his mind occupied and off of dangerous paths. Like the way her hair felt in his hands, or how smooth her skin was. Shaking his head, he took up his knife and tried to concentrate on his work. 

Was it foolish of him to think of having a relationship with Natalia? One could argue that her fate might not be for a long and happy life. She was destined to be a hero, but even heroes needed a soft place to land. Someone to watch their back. Maybe Natalia didn’t feel much like the savior of Tamriel right now, but he could see her potential, and it was likely she would surpass even his most ambitious predictions. After all, it was written that the Emperors of Tamriel had been Dragonborn, even though that line had died with Martin Septim. Maybe a new Dragonborn, the  _ last  _ Dragonborn, could reunite the broken Empire. But when all was said and done, if she wanted to cast all of that aside and just retire to this house to craft jewelry and grow vegetables; he would go with her. He was a little nervous about what that meant for him. That was more than admiration for a woman of accomplishment and beauty, that was perilously close to attachment. Brynjar had often cautioned him against forming attachments, even as a young lad. Well Bryn, he thought as he smoothed the last curve of bone, don’t look now.

He found her later at the tanning rack, stretching the skin of the deer he butchered yesterday. There was no end to what the woman could do. He guessed learning to do these things was part of her upbringing, a bit like learning to use weapons was for him.

“That’ll make a nice piece of leather for you.” She’d scraped the hide clean, and applied a salt rub to draw out the remaining moisture. 

“That’s my hope. I have some ideas for it.”

She cleaned her hands and joined him on the steps. The afternoon was sunny and quiet. 

“So I’ve got something for you. I’m no silversmith, but I do a bit of scrimshaw. And since I was thinking of you as I made it, you should have it.”

He held the carefully carved talisman out to her. It was a stylized outline of a dragon, in a circle. 

She took it carefully, her smile a bright beam of sunshine. 

“You made this for me?”

“Well yeah. I mean, you’re the only…” He let his words trail off, afraid to reveal too much.

“It’s beautiful.”

“I carved it from the bone of that dragon we killed. It’s a bit harder to work than horker tusk, but that means it will last longer.”

“Can you tie it on for me?” She turned her back to him and lifted her hair. His fingers brushed the soft skin of her neck, and her hair smelled of the floral soap she used to wash it. He finished tying it and she turned back towards him.

“How does it look?”

“Just right, for a Dragonborn.”

“Thank you, Kaidan. We should get our packs ready tonight. I’d like to leave early tomorrow.”

“Aye, that’s a smart idea. I’ll be ready.”

They both stood, Kaidan one step below her on the platform. She put a hand to his face and leaned in, kissing his cheek softly. Smiling, she wandered into the house.


	16. Murder Swamp

The rain was pounding on the roof when Natalia opened her eyes the next morning. It had stormed most of the night, making her sleep restless. She was still tired when she forced herself from her bed and into her armour. This was going to make the journey very unpleasant. Her satchel rested by the chair next to the fireplace, already packed with the essentials for what she was hoping would be a fairly short trip. That was the problem with having a safe, warm and comfortable home—it was hard to leave. 

According to all the maps she could find, Ustengrav, the burial place of Jurgen Windcaller, was located to the west of Morthal. She’d never been to Morthal, but the expression on Kaidan’s face when she mentioned the place made her think it was less than hospitable. They hired the carriage that stood outside of Whiterun to make the journey, as it was much too far to walk. The swaying of the carriage as it rocked down the stony road made reading something of a challenge. Kaidan shifted nearer and put an arm around her shoulders.

“You should get some sleep. It’s a long ride.”

Her lips curved up in a wicked smile as she ducked out from under his arm and slid down the bench. He looked confused for only a moment, before she tucked her legs up and laid down with her head pillowed on his lap. 

“An excellent suggestion, Kai. Thanks.” She smiled up at him impishly. 

“Aye, I’m full of great ideas, “ he sighed, pulling her cloak more securely over her shoulders.

His hand stroked her hair and she was asleep in moments. 

Morthal was...depressing. A series of buildings perched on stilts over a marsh gave it a ramshackle appearance. They found the inn with little trouble, as it was the largest building within the settlement. Even the innkeeper seemed morose, as Natalia requested rooms for the night. She wanted to get this job finished, but there was no way on Nirn she was wading through a swamp full of murder in the dark. 

Kaidan bid her good night and she could hear him rustling around through their shared wall. Natalia tried to get somewhat comfortable and settled in to read for a while. She missed Elysium already. 

It was after midnight when she noticed the muffled shouts through the wall. Her first thought was someone had broken in to Kai’s room and was attacking him. Her book dropped to the floor as she grabbed her dagger from the nightstand. She threw her cloak over her chemise and slipped into the next room. It was too dark to make out anything at first, but a conjured ball of mage light showed Kaidan still asleep, but restlessly so. No one else was there. She picked up the blanket from where it had been tossed on the floor and laid it over his sleeping form. It was shameless indulgence that had her smoothing his long hair, but it seemed to calm him. She almost didn’t catch the words he muttered before he turned to face the wall. Extinguishing the light, she returned to her room to wonder where she’d heard the name Brynjar before. 

The next morning, Kaidan seemed fine, if a bit tired. She decided not to mention her nocturnal visit to his bedside. Even though her purpose had been innocent, people didn’t usually like being seen while vulnerable. Especially when those people were tried and tested warriors. 

“You good, Kai?”

He looked up from his tea in confusion.

“Yeah, ‘m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just seem a bit tired.”

“Don’t worry about me. Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah. Let’s go. This town gives me the creeps.”

“I can guarantee that Ustengrav will not be an improvement.” Kai smirked as he drained his tea and stood.

“That’s why I like hanging out with you Kai, you’re so upbeat and cheerful.” Natalia retrieved her satchel from under the table and snickered at Kaidan’s expressive eyeroll.

The weather was cold and the sunlight that filtered through the grey clouds did little to improve the atmosphere. There was naught but wild swamp between them and their destination. 

An hour of picking carefully through sand bars and muck-filled pathways made Natalia want to consign the entirety of Hjaalmarch hold to Oblivion. Her boots were filthy, the hem of her cloak was too gross to think about and every inch of exposed skin had been assaulted by various briars and bushes. The skeevers and mudcrabs they'd had to dispatch did not bear thinking of. She was almost glad to see the rise of the tomb entrance to Ustengrav. She’d trade in some draugr for these stupid thorn bushes any day.

Two hours later, she regretted her hasty wish to trade the thorns for draugr. Also, there were skeletons. Natalia was exhausted, running low on magicka and arrows. She popped the cork on a potion as they made their way through the winding halls of Ustengrav. They had developed a kind of...rhythm, for lack of a better word. Coming into a chamber, Natalia would pick off whatever was walking with her bow, leaving Kaidan free to tackle the increasingly ferocious draugr. They moved almost silently together now, keeping each other safe. Watching each other's backs.

_ Why was it always spiders? _ Natalia wondered as they came into what she hoped was the end of this maze of death. She pulled her sword and waded in, setting the big one in the middle on fire to keep it busy. Whatever was left, she hoped it wasn’t too challenging. She was out of patience with the Nords and their tombs. 

Finally the last spider died on the point of Kaidan’s sword. Natalia cleaned her blade on her cloak, since it was already ruined. The next room was the burial chamber, where their quarry lay waiting. They pushed the door open, tensed for yet another battle, only to find two dead draugr deathlords. And a note where the Horn was supposed to be. 

“Oh, they cannot be serious.” Natalia ground out the words as she reached for the parchment. If the Greybeards had sent them on some wild goose chase, she was going to have a strained discussion with someone.

Too angry to speak, she passed the letter to Kaidan, who unrolled it and read it aloud.

“Dragonborn, I need to speak to you urgently. Rent the attic room at the Sleeping Giant Inn in Riverwood. A friend.” 

Natalia kicked the dead body of the draugr and cursed viciously under her breath. Decent treasure notwithstanding, she was not doing this for fun. Whoever was waiting for them at the Sleeping Giant was going to be very sorry, very soon. 

“We’re going to smell like draugr for a week and not even the damn horn to show for it.” The disgust in his voice was palpable. 

“Come on, let’s get out of here. Seems like we need to pay a call in Riverwood.”

They had a brief debate about returning home before going to Riverwood to meet their mysterious "friend". Natalia vetoed the idea for the sake of expediency. She wanted to find this person, get the Horn, punch them a few times and then go home. The fact that they now had to go out of their way before getting the relic back to the Greybeards was making her cranky. Even Kaidan noticed.

They had just boarded the hired carriage in Morthal when he passed her a paper parcel. Inside was a berry crostata. 

"That was nice of you, Kai. You didn't have to buy me pastry."

"Think of it as an offering. You're formidable to deal with when you're in a temper."

Her eyes narrowed into a glare at her companion's guileless expression. But she ate the pastry anyway, offering half to him. The sweet did improve her mood, not that she would admit it. 

They were probably an hour into a long day's drive when she finally asked him the question she'd been thinking about since last night.

"Who was Brynjar?"

"Brynjar? Where'd you hear that name?"

"Inn rooms have thin walls."

"Brynjar was the man who raised me. After my mother died."

"Was he your father?"

"No. I don't know who my father was. For that matter, I don't know who my mother was. Brynjar was very secretive about his past, and mine as well. He always said he would tell me when I was older, then he died without ever doing so."

The bitterness was so thick in his words that she didn't want to ask him anything else. Didn't want to poke the places he was already hurting. But she was trying to help, as he had helped her. And help sometimes hurt as it healed.

"How did he die?"

"Exposure, according to the priest. They found him on the steps of the Temple. The Great War had broken his faith in the Empire, in most everything. His drinking had gotten worse and worse, but I was used to it, so I didn't really notice how bad he was. He went out one night looking for something stronger than ale, and he never came back. All I have left is a sword and a lot of unanswered questions."

Her heart broke for him. She couldn't imagine losing her only family in such a way. Other than the Dragonborn anomaly, Natalia knew who she was. Her family, her ancestors. She couldn't imagine going through life with no idea where she'd come from. She moved her hand to cover his, offering the only comfort she could think of. 

"I'm so sorry, Kai. That must have been hard."

"I wasn't sad, Talia, I was angry. He could have died fighting, but instead, he just gave up."

"He was sick, Kai. That doesn't change the good he did."

Kaidan turned his hand under hers and laced his fingers through her own. Finally, he turned to look at her, instead of staring at the trees.

"You're more forgiving than I am. And you're right. Guess I could stand to learn a few things from you." His smile was sad and Natalia wanted desperately to cheer him a little.

"Sure, I could teach you to cook. Wouldn't that be fun?"

His short chuckle was her reward and they lapsed into silence. He didn't let go of her hand. 


	17. With Friends Like These

Riverwood was its usual quiet self in the early morning of the next day when they finally arrived. Kaidan welcomed the chance to stretch muscles stiff from traveling all day. He disembarked, and extended his hand to help Natalia jump to the ground. She had been quiet after their conversation. But her hand in his had been comforting in ways that words could never match. 

She stalked towards the Sleeping Giant Inn, a woman on a mission. Whoever had taken that horn from the tomb, well, he almost felt sorry for them. 

Inside, she asked the Innkeeper about the "attic room" as it said in the note. The blonde woman replied that they didn't have an attic room, but they could have the room to the left of the bar. They were ushered inside and the door closed behind them. Kaidan took a seat on the chair, while Natalia sat cross-legged on the bed. 

"So, we wait and see, then?"

"We wait and see."

It was only a few minutes before the blonde woman returned. 

"So, you're the one?"

Natalia stood up. She and the innkeeper were of a size, though the other woman was probably twenty years older. 

“Who are you?”

"I'm Delphine. I'm part of an organization that's been looking for you for a very long time."

"Why? And where's my Horn that you stole?"

He'd never seen Natalia like this, aggressive, almost combative. He had figured if there was intimidation needed, he’d be the one to do it, but from where he was sitting, he was superfluous. She was toe-to-toe with Delphine, green eyes flashing, sparks crackling in her clenched fist. The older woman held her hands up, placating.

"Come with me, and we'll talk. I know you've got questions; I'll answer what I can. I'll give you the Horn."

Delphine reached behind the nightstand for a switch, and the wall panel behind Kaidan swung open, revealing a short flight of stairs. Delphine gestured for them to follow her. 

Natalia started right after her only to pull up short when he stepped in front of her. 

"Might be an ambush. Better let me go first—we don't know her and we don't know what's down there."

She nodded and stepped back. He pulled his sword and descended the stairs. The room below was smallish, with a large table in the center. A scatter of books lay about and in the center was a large map of Skyrim. Delphine unlocked a chest in the corner, pulling out a Nord horn. Obviously ancient, inscribed with Dovazhul glyphs, it glowed faintly in the lamp light. 

Natalia took the horn carefully, and waited for whatever Delphine had to say.

"They say that you’re the Dragonborn. Is that true?"

"That's what the Greybeards told me. Why is that important to you?"

"Have you ever heard of the Blades?"

Kaidan felt his eyes widen. He was glad Delphine was focused on Natalia. First the Thalmor with their questions and now this. Kaidan didn't believe in coincidence.

"Only from my childhood history lessons. Descended from the Akaviri Dragonguard? Protectors of the Emperor?"

"Simplified but you have the basics correct. I am one of the last of the Blades. If you are the Dragonborn, we've been waiting for you." 

"I've already told you that I am."

This woman was testing his patience.

"Well, you're going to get your chance to prove it. Dragons are not "returning" to Skyrim. They weren't off visiting some faraway aunt. They were  _ dead _ . The Dragonguard and later on the Blades put them in the ground. They are coming back from the dead. And I know where the next one is going to be rising."

"Is that the Dragonstone map I got for Farengar?"

"A copy of it, yes. So, here outside of Kynesgrove, there's a burial site. If we go now, we may just make it before the dragon rises."

"Well, then I guess this is where we both get to prove ourselves. We're ready to go when you are."

"Let me change clothes."

Kaidan and Natalia made their way to the main room of the inn. Delphine appeared shortly thereafter. The armour she wore was like nothing Kaidan had ever seen before, yet he felt it was somehow...familiar. When she turned and he saw the sword on her back, almost identical to his, he knew that this too was another link to the mystery of his past.

Kynesgrove was maybe half a day’s walk from Riverwood. Delphine set a strong pace and easily dispatched any unwary predators who strayed into their path. Kaidan imagined that any bandits along the way would think twice about attempting to waylay their party. Natalia dropped back beside him, speaking quietly so Delphine wouldn’t hear.

“Her sword, Kai. It’s just like yours.”

“Aye, I noticed. Looks like I might need to do some research on the Blades.”

“I feel like we’re so close to getting some answers for you. That we’re just missing a step here or there.”

“Let’s deal with this dragon first, then we can borrow trouble from the past.”

It was early afternoon when they reached the sleepy settlement of Kynesgrove. They stopped briefly in the small inn for refreshment and rooms. It was only a short hike up to where the dragon burial mound was located. Kaidan could feel Natalia's tension increasing with every step as they walked.They were close to it when they heard the sound they'd been dreading. Kaidan pulled Natalia behind some boulders. The beast was close enough he could feel the winds whipped up by its wings. They peered around the rocks to find Delphine doing much the same, all of their attention on the huge black dragon hovering over the burial mound.

"Oh gods. Alduin." 

Kaidan couldn't understand the words the dragon spoke, but from her facial expression, Natalia seemed to understand more than she wished. There was a sound of breaking rock and the ground shook as the burial mound opened. The dragon inside of the mound crawled out and was made whole as it did. 

"Come on, now's our chance!" Delphine was charging towards the newly awakened dragon. Natalia pulled her bow from her shoulder and nocked an arrow. The resurrected dragon was still slow, not fully aware of everything around it. Delphine was right; they needed to kill it before it became more dangerous.

"Kai, do you see Alduin?" Her eyes were wide and afraid as she craned her neck around the boulder.

"No, I think he took off once his comrade was topside. We need to get in there. Delphine is going to get herself killed."

He looked down at Natalia kneeling beside him, her hand white knuckled on her bow. 

"You ready, Dragonborn?" Her eyes met his and she nodded as she got to her feet. 

"Fus Ro Da!" Her Thu'um rocked the dragon back, off balance. Kaidan and Delphine took advantage and got in some heavy strikes against the dragon's tough hide. They missed getting scorched by a hair when it regained its feet. The arrows flew from where Natalia stood, using the boulder as cover. The dragon was weakening. Kaidan waded in once more, determined to finish the thing, only to be sideswiped by a massive wing and ragdolled into a pile of rocks. His vision was hazy at the edges but he saw Natalia's expression shift from terrified to furious, as she dropped her bow. The lightning crackled through the evening air and Natalia advanced on the waning dragon like an angry storm atronach. It struck him, even in his dazed condition, that she was beautiful like this, powerful and frightening. Between Delphine's sword and Natalia's magick, the dragon was soon dead and that swirling light once again surrounded Natalia. Another dragon soul absorbed. Would she become more dragon-like as she killed more of them? He tried to shake off the dizziness and stand, but found himself unable to do more than sit upright. Damn dragon hit harder than a giant. His vision wavered and then cleared as Natalia reached his side. 

"I'm fine. Just a bit of a headache."

"Your head is bleeding. Be still and let me help." The cool touch of her healing spell shivered up his spine and he was suddenly aware of every ache. The pain in his head throbbed like a drumbeat, so he focused on her face to keep himself awake.

"You have such pretty eyes, y'know? They remind me of the forests." He knew he was rambling, but couldn't find the wherewithal to stop. He closed his eyes again and prayed to the Divines that she would forgive his nonsensical prattling.

"Did the dragon eat Delphine?"

"No, the dragon didn't eat her, I sent her to Kynesgrove for a wagon. We need to get you back to the Inn."

"I don't need a wagon ride like some kind of invalid."

"Kai, please. You're injured, and I don't have enough magicka to heal you completely. I don't want us out in the open if Alduin comes back."

"I can walk." He could walk, damn it. But his struggles to move were met with Natalia's restraining hands.

"Sure, you try walking and halfway down you'll faint dead away and I cannot carry you. So you'll stay right here with me until Delphine gets back, or so help me I will shout you unconscious." He cracked open one eye to look at her again. Honestly, he never tired of looking at her. Even when she was irritated at him like she was now. He enjoyed the sparks of her temper as much as he did her smiles. 

"I think of you all the time, Natalia. You're under my skin and I can't stop it."

"Shhhhh. Kai, it's okay. I can hear the wagon approaching, I'll get you to the inn and then I can do a better job. Head injuries are nothing to fool around with."

"You always fix what's broken, Talia. Probably why I--" The pain in his head finally managed to shut his mouth and the darkness took him under.


	18. Heal Thyself

Natalia swore under her breath as Kaidan lost consciousness. Thankfully, Delphine arrived just then with a few of the miners from Kynesgrove and a wagon. Having a task helped her fend off the panic that lurked in the shadows of her mind. As for what he’d said before he blacked out... She didn’t have time to lose her composure, she had to help Kaidan. She had no idea exactly when he had become the most important person in her life, but it didn’t matter. 

The men helped her shift him into the cart and they returned to the settlement below. Natalia scanned the sides of the road as she walked for the healing herbs she could use for a poultice. She needed to stop the bleeding and see if he had any other injuries. A good strong healing potion should do the trick, but head wounds were worrisome. 

It seemed to take forever to get back to the inn. The men carried Kaidan to her room as she asked. The innkeeper was happy to provide hot water and clean towels since they’d just saved the place from a dragon. Delphine leaned against the doorframe as Natalia worked the herbs she’d collected into a paste at the small table.

“I’m heading back to Riverwood. I know you need to stay, but when Kaidan is back on his feet, you should come and see me again. This was just the beginning. Things are going to get much worse.”

“Be sure I will. I have questions for you; don’t think I’ve forgotten.”

“Perish the thought. See you soon.” The blonde woman gave her a thin smile and withdrew.

It took a few tries to get his armour off. The cuirass released easy enough, but then she had to both support his head and shoulders and pull the heavy steel from underneath him. The pauldrons were a little simpler. Divines, the man weighed as much as a cart horse. She lacerated a finger on one of the spikes of his gauntlets, so she was more careful with the equally deadly sabatons. Once she peeled him out of all the heavy gear, she checked for further damage. He seemed okay, just some bruising and scratches. Likely all the leather and steel he wore kept him from more trivial injuries. The poultice she’d made had stopped the bleeding at his hairline. The cut didn’t look deep enough to need sewing up. 

She bathed his face with cool water, checking for any fever. At the first chilly drops, he flinched and began to wake. It took him a few moments to focus, grimacing. He raised his hand to his head only to have it swatted away by Natalia.

“I just put on a fresh compress. No touching.”

“How bad off am I?”

“I’m not exactly a trained healer, so I’m not sure. I got the bleeding stopped. Once I got you out of your armour, you didn’t seem to have anything more serious than bruises. That knot on your head is the worst of it.”

“How did you get me in here? I know you didn’t carry me.”

“A few of the miners helped me get you settled. You’re no lightweight, that’s for sure. They complained about how heavy you were when they thought I couldn’t hear.”

“Hah. Jealous bunch of milk-drinkers.” 

“Right. Well, since you’re awake, you can swallow down this potion. I want you to rest.”

She held out the bottle of the strongest healing potion she could make. He blanched at the bitter taste but drank it all. 

“Couldn’t I have an ale? It would probably fix me right up.” He looked so sweet and hopeful that Natalia had to laugh.

“No. You’re going to rest, and let that potion do its work. You can have ale tomorrow.”

He settled back into the pillows she had scavenged from the other room they had rented. It wasn’t as though she would need one. 

“Where’s Delphine?”

“She’s gone back to Riverwood. She wants us to come and talk to her once you are better. Apparently, I passed her test. She’s decided that I am, in fact, the Dragonborn.”

“I’m just grateful she didn’t get you killed today. No wonder the Blades are mostly dead, if they race into a dragon fight like a drunk into a meadery. “

“Well, we all survived. We can celebrate that later. When we get home, I’ll make you a snowberry cake.“

“That’s almost worth getting elbowed by a dragon.”

His eyes slid closed as his words slowed. Natalia took a deep breath and thanked Kynareth that he seemed to be improving. She had no idea what she would have done if he had not. She settled into the chair in the corner and draped Kaidan’s cloak over herself. A short nap was all she needed, then she would check on Kai again.

Piercing rays of sunlight woke her from a restless sleep and she rolled her shoulders to work out the kinks that came from sleeping in a chair. A quick glance at Kaidan assured her that he was okay. He was resting peacefully, so she slipped from the room to get some tea and something to eat. 

She was paying the bartender for the food when she heard the telltale sound of movement from her room. Opening the door with a foot, both hands holding a tray full of food, she saw Kaidan sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“I’ve brought you some breakfast. And some tea.”

He scowled at her pettishly.

“I don’t need to be treated as an invalid, you know. It’s just a bump on the head.” 

_ Ah, awake and grouchy. He must be feeling better.  _ She set the tray on the table.

“A bump on the head, even one made of rock like yours, needs careful treatment. Because it can lead to brain swelling and death. So, you can sit there and scowl all you want and be annoyed that someone cares enough to make sure you don’t die.” The sunny smile she gave him was frosty on the edges. His scowl melted into a frown as she took her cup of tea and pastry and left the room. Kynareth save her from a stubborn man.

He emerged not long after with the tray in his hands. She studied him as he returned it to the bartender and made his way to where she was sitting. He had obviously managed to wash his face and comb his hair. The potion had done the trick, as she’d hoped. The bench creaked under the added weight as he sat.

“‘M sorry I was a bear to you. I don’t like being injured. I don’t handle it well.”

“Apology accepted. I’m glad you are feeling better this morning, though I’d be more comfortable if you would consider a second potion?”

“If you want me to, I will. You’re the healer. Or the closest I’ve got to one anyway.”

“All right.”

Natalia collected her dishes and took them up to the bar, leaving Kaidan at the table. She went to the room to fetch the second draught she had made last night and turned to find Kaidan in the doorway. He took the bottle from her hand and swallowed it down swiftly before handing it back.

“I appreciate you taking care of me. It’s been a long time since I had anyone in my life who cared what happened to me. Other than Brynjar, I haven’t always made the best choices in companions.”

Natalia turned back to where he was collecting his armour. Now, she was intrigued.

“Oh really? Surely there’s been more than one pretty girl willing to tend your wounds.”

Something between a snort and a laugh was what she got in response to that.

“A few, maybe here and there. But not one that really cared. Never one I could call friend.”

“Well, if I’m going to drag you into tombs and dragon fights, the least I can do is help patch you up. That’s what friends are for, after all.” 

His smile was slow but genuine and it stirred her blood in ways she really didn’t want to consider as she scooped up her satchel and slipped into the next room to refresh herself. So, were they just going to be friends, then? Had that kiss been a mistake? Maybe he thought it was a bad idea to get involved with someone who was as jeopardy-friendly as she seemed to be. The life of a Dragonborn was probably not destined to be very long. She shrugged at her reflection in the mirror above the washstand. If he had decided that maybe it wasn’t worth the struggle, she couldn’t blame him. Still, no one was so wealthy they could throw away friends. And if she had inadvisably fallen in love with her friend, well, there was no reason he needed to know. It would just embarrass them both. Reasonably tidy, she threw her filthy cloak over her shoulders and prepared for a long walk home. She really needed to see about buying a horse. 

The road back to Whiterun was longer than she would have liked, but they had good weather for travel, so Natalia wasn’t going to complain. Kaidan was obviously feeling much better, though he was still pretty quiet. He dropped behind her to pick some snowberries and she heard him snickering to himself.

“What’s so funny?”

“What happened to your cloak? It’s a mess.”

The red wool cloak was pretty well ruined. The dragon symbol of the empire was barely visible through the mud and blood. She would have left it in the swamp but it was cold and her armor had no sleeves.

“I know, it’s gross. I’m making a new one when we get home.”

“Speaking of that, I’m pretty sure these trousers are needing a patch or two. I can fix it myself, if you can spare a bit of that black wool you bought.”

“I can fix them for you, if you want. Just drop them on the chair in my room once you’ve changed. I found a sewing machine in the basement, so that will make it easier to do.”

“Kynareth doesn’t miss a trick, does she? Although, growing up, I knew her as Kyne; beloved widow of Shor. Patron god of travellers.”

“We called her Kyne or Kynareth. There was a small shrine on our farm to her, as the weather was critical to our livelihood.”

“Well she’s smiling on us today. I have half a mind to go swimming.” 

“I think I gave you too much healing potion if you’re wanting to catch your death in a freezing river.”

“Hah! Thin-blooded Imperial. It’s only a little brisk.” He grinned at her when she rolled her eyes.

“Just because we have the good sense to come in out of the rain…” She trailed off as he stopped and scooped up some of the half-melted snow just off the path. 

“If you’re about to throw that at me, reconsider.” She pulled her cloak closer around her shoulders and tried to decide which way she should dodge to avoid it. Indecision proved her failing; the clump of wet snow missed her face only to land on her neck and slide under her armour leaving an icy trail. Kaidan stood for a moment laughing, then took off running.

“Kaidan!” 

Natalia chased him halfway back to Whiterun. 


	19. Only Happy When It Rains

Something was off with Natalia. Kaidan couldn’t pin down exactly when it happened, but his best guess was after he’d taken that punch from the dragon. She’d patched him up all right, but he;d seen her looking at him when she thought he didn’t see her. She looked...sad. He didn’t like it. 

They arrived home from Kynesgrove late that night and barely managed to shuck off their respective armor before falling into their beds. It had been a long few days. Next morning, she’d risen with the sun and had a snowberry cake cooling on the table when he finally wandered into the kitchen. 

She bought horses for them, bargaining fiercely with the stable owner in Whiterun. Kaidan winced at the cost but she just shrugged, saying she was tired of walking everywhere. She not only mended his trousers, but made him a new pair. Her new cloak looked much nicer than the old one she’d dragged through the Morthal swamps. Yet, even with all this busy work and running to Whiterun for trading he felt as though they’d not spoken in days.

He finally approached her as she sat at her desk one afternoon. They were due to journey to High Hrothgar again tomorrow, to return the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller. Hopefully for the last time. Autumn had shortened the days and painted the trees in vibrant colors, and would also result in heavier snow on the path to the summit. Winter would make the trip almost impossible.

“Natalia?”

She turned and smiled at him, but it didn't reach her eyes.

“What’s on your mind, Kai?”

“I was going to ask you the same question. Something is going on with you; you seem...different. Have I done something to upset you?”

“What? No, not at all. I’ve just been...I don’t know. Trying to sort things out in my head. Sorry if I’ve been a bit distant.”

“Are you worried about something?”

“I’m the Dragonborn. Sometimes I think all I do is worry.”

“Well, set your worry aside. It’s a beautiful autumn sunset, and we have a hot spring in our back garden. What do you say?”

He hoped she would take him up on it. Being held at arm’s length by someone you...admired was challenging. “Admired” was a shallow term for how he felt about her, but he refused to tempt the Fates by giving the emotion its proper name. He was hers, that was the simplest, easiest way to describe it. If she was hurting, he wanted her to know she could tell him whatever was on her mind. He’d never think less of her. 

“Sure. I’ll be out in a moment; I just need to change.”

Kaidan gave her some privacy and went to collect some towels and a bottle of wine. If he could get her to relax, she’d tell him what was wrong. Then, he could fix it. Well, he hoped he could fix it. 

The hot spring glowed in the waning sunlight. The lanterns and torches around the forge platform gave plenty of light. He set the wine and the goblets on the ledge and stripped down to his underclothes. They were decent enough for this purpose. He’d prefer not to wear anything at all but that was probably...unwise. He didn’t want to shock Natalia. He saw her emerge from the house, her cloak blending into the darkening landscape. Her bare legs flashed as she climbed the few steps to where he waited for her, and she smiled at him as she accepted the drink he offered. He eased into the hot water, enjoying the slight mineral scent as he took a seat on the stone ledge. 

Natalia stepped into the spring delicately, discarding her cloak as she did so. Kaidan looked up and almost swallowed his own tongue. She wore her breast band and a pair of ludicrously small pants. The linen drawers sat on her hips and the hems barely grazed her thighs. He didn’t know what he had been expecting, but it was not that. He forced his gaze to the sunset, studying it as though he meant to paint it. When he worked up the nerve to steal another glance at her, she was settled in the water. He breathed a quiet sigh of relief. The purpose of this was to help Natalia relax and open up about what was bothering her. Not drool over her bare skin as though he’d never seen a woman before. He hoped the water would hide his more...visceral reaction. 

“It’s nice to enjoy the outdoors — winter will be coming soon and even Whiterun will be too cold for this sort of thing.” 

“Does it snow here?”

“Not very often. A dusting, now and then. But it definitely gets much colder.”

“Good to know. I’ll need to get the horses some blanketing. They cost too much to allow them to freeze.”

“Aye, I was amazed at how you drilled him down on the price.”

“My father would be appalled if I paid the first asking price for a horse.”

“Well, a toast to him in Cheydinhall. He raised a very smart woman.”

He raised his glass to her and took a sip which earned him a warm smile. 

“So, do you want to tell me what you’ve been thinking for the last day or so that has you so troubled?”

“It’s nothing really. I’m not so much troubled as I am...concerned. We’ve been running around Skyrim like dogs chasing our tails. We haven’t really had much time to ourselves. And it occurred to me that you might need a day off from all this.”

“A day off…?”

Her normally pale skin was flushing rose pink in the light as she struggled to find the words she wanted. 

“I mean, you are a young, healthy man. And men have...needs. For companionship or what have you.”

A slow smile made its way onto his face as he watched her study the rock wall with intense concentration. She was concerned about his physical needs. Interesting.

“What about your needs, Talia?”

“My needs? Oh, um, I’m fine really. I’m not one for casual relationships.”

“Well, neither am I. A...companion is easy enough to come by. But I have my sights set on something a little higher, a little more important.”

“Ah, you’re looking for someone special? Or maybe you already have someone in mind?”

Shor’s bones, surely she knew? He studied her face in the dim light. She honestly didn't seem to have any idea how he felt about her. Oh, for Mara’s sake, this was ridiculous.

“You could say I’ve already found my someone special.”

He set his goblet aside and reached for her, pulling her to her feet and into his arms. The night air was chilly on their wet skin but he didn’t feel it. Holding Natalia was like hugging a torch. Angling her face up, he caught her lips in a kiss. Nothing shy or simple about this one; he didn’t want any more confusion. He needed her to know how much he wanted her. He traced her lips, smiling against them when she allowed him in further. She tasted like wine and spice; the flavor of her went to his head faster than Colovian brandy. Her initial surprise obviously worn off, she molded herself against him in a way that was going to lead to a very restless night for him. Her lips stroked and slid against his, her teeth grazed while her tongue soothed the edges. Kissing her was like standing in the Skyforge and he could only wonder how he hadn’t burst into flames. 

Natalia shivered in his embrace; the sun had set and the chill had morphed into cold. As much as he wanted to stand here and let her demolish him, he didn't want her to catch cold. He stared down into her dazed green eyes with a smile. 

"I'm hoping I've made myself a bit clearer now?"

"You could say that, yes."

They collected the wine and their clothes and hastened inside, drying off in front of the sitting room fire. She studied him in the firelight. He could feel the weight of her gaze as he toweled off the last of the water and stood in just his linen pants. 

“Like what you see?” He mostly meant it as a joke. A feline smile curved her lips as she circled him where he stood, raked every inch of him with hooded green eyes. Her black cloak swirled around her, brushed against his calves as she concluded her frank perusal of his person. Finally she drew her fingers down his arm to settle warmly in his hand.

“So far, so good.” She brought his hand to her lips, brushed a kiss over the scarred knuckles and let it go with a rakish wink. Turning with swirl of wool, she disappeared into her bedroom.

Kaidan stood in front of the fire for a few minutes, trying to decide if that had been an invitation. Bugger it, he would go and ask her. 

She was sitting in front of the fire in her bedroom. Her cloak had been hung on the hook by the door, so she wore only her linen underclothes. Kaidan swallowed thickly at the fire-lit skin of her soft abdomen, the delicate line of her collar bones. The flickering shadows suggested more than they revealed of the dips and valleys of her curves. He'd never wanted anyone like this in his life. Loving Natalia was a kind of fever dream, and he never wanted to wake from it.

"You must be tired." It took him a few seconds to process what she had said.

"Not so much. I was just thinking, the cold here can chill your bones. I could think of a few ways to keep you warm."

"You mean..."

"I do. I thought you must have known by now. Subtlety isn't my strong suit."

"I...didn't want to assume and be wrong."

"Oh you're a rare bird indeed. No wonder I'm crazy about you, Talia. Be with me tonight; you know I'll still be there in the morning."

A slow smile drifted like a breeze across her lips. He hoped that boded well for him.

“Yes.”


	20. Fire in the Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

Natalia almost drowned in the rush of heat over her skin as she stared into Kaidan’s darkened eyes. This would not be anything like the few teenage fumbles with her first love. This would change her. This would change  _ them _ . 

He held out his hand; she took it and was pulled into a kiss that seared with its heat and raw need. She hadn’t expected him, or anyone really, to want her like this. It made her head spin with the force of the feelings she’d been concealing from him. His hands slid down to her hips and he lifted her off her feet. Natalia wrapped her legs around his waist, unwilling to stop kissing him for something so basic as walking to her bed.

He kept her legs in place as he simply sat on the edge of the bed. A slight shift of her hips on his lap easily revealed the evidence of his desire and the knowledge made her smile against his lips. He pulled back to look at her.

“Something amusing you, Talia?”

“Not at all. It’s been a long time since I’ve done this. And I can’t really say that it was a successful experiment in my case.”

"We'll go slow then. It's been...a while since I've been with anyone, as well. I want to take my time with you. Find all the things that you like, things that you'll beg for me to do again." Her cheeks flushed crimson with the images those words created in her mind.

"Are you blushing, Dragonborn? Well, we'll have to see if we can keep that up."

With a muffled giggle, Natalia pushed him onto his back, unfolding her legs to lay beside him. Kaidan would have none of that and pulled her fully on top of him, pausing to unwind her breast band. The long piece of linen got tossed across the room without a further thought.

She cradled his face in her hands, tracing every inch before she ravished his mouth with a kiss.

His hands moved to the ties of her pants, sliding them down and off her legs as he shifted her onto her back, the woolen blanket warm and soft against her skin. He lay beside her, touching the newly revealed skin with hands that trembled in the fire light. 

"I don't believe I've ever seen anything more beautiful in all of Tamriel. Nor touched anything so fine and soft." His voice was a hoarse whisper as he traced the shape of her breasts. Natalia arched into his touch. His calloused hands stroked and squeezed until she was whimpering and then he lowered his lips to her skin, teasing her until the whimpers became moans. He stopped only briefly to shuck off his remaining clothes. He was so warm against her, even in the slight chill of the room. His skin was golden in the dim light and her hands itched to touch all of it. Pulling him close for another long, drugging kiss, she skimmed her fingers over his shoulders, traced the well-defined muscles in his back, and grazed her nails down his sides to his narrow hips. Natalia loved the way he quivered under her touch, like every brush of her hands pushed him closer to the limits of his control. His hands skimmed her torso, lingered over her hips and the slight curve of her belly, before slipping lower. Her curls were dark, the slick liquid of her arousal already coating the outer lips as he gently parted them with one deft finger. He stroked her carefully, as though he touched the most delicate flower, until Natalia thought she might lose her mind. 

Before he could protest, she rolled them so that she rested on top of him. His eyes shone red in the light as he gazed at her above him. When she reached back and wrapped her fingers around him, he couldn’t quite stifle a groan. She enjoyed the feeling; he was hot and silky in her hand. He only got a moment's reprieve before she repositioned herself across his hips and drew him into her body. Slowly, the muscles stretched uncomfortably at first, but relaxed as she continued to slide down. Kaidan bit his lips, moaning quietly before closing his eyes against the onslaught of sensation. She paused and let herself adjust to his size. When she moved at last it was a slow, gentle roll of her hips. The beautiful eyes that she adored flew open, almost feral in their intensity and his hands gripped her hips, helping to guide her movements. He smiled when he found the spot inside of her that made her gasp and shiver, and he worked it tirelessly. The coil of pleasure tightened inside her with each stroke and when he moved his thumb to the place where their bodies joined and rubbed gently, it snapped. The sensation came in waves, and Natalia could no longer tell if she was on Nirn or somewhere in the Aetherius. It left her breathless and wrung out, lying on Kaidan's broad chest. 

"You all right, love?" His voice was soft but she could hear the strain in it. He was still hard inside her, waiting for her to tell him she was okay. As an answer, she pushed upright and smiled down at him in pure feminine satisfaction, and rolled her hips against him. In a flash, she found herself on her back, his weight balanced over her as he pushed into her once, twice before he shuddered, her name a rough moan. She wrapped her arms around him, trying to say everything she felt with a gentle kiss. 

Later, Natalia watched the rise and fall of Kaidan's chest as he slept. That she loved him had long since failed to surprise her. She had loved him since the day he had stood beside her in Bleak Falls. Knowing that he returned her feelings, at least to some degree, was a gift she had never expected. They would eventually have to have a conversation about this development, but tonight was for gifts, and everything else could wait till morning. She slid closer to her sleeping lover, smiling when he turned in slumber and wrapped a strong arm about her waist. Natalia fell asleep, content.


	21. Dark and Bright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also a bit NSFW. Just at the beginning.

Kaidan woke with the sun, rolling onto his back in the comfortable bed. Natalia still slept next to him, the sheet and blanket shoved down to her hips, revealing a tantalizing amount of smooth skin. He traced the curve of her waist softly, not wanting to wake her. Or perhaps he would wake her, he thought, as the blood began to warm in his veins. What felt like ages of non-stop thinking of Natalia — her laugh, her courage, the way she moved like mist and shadow — and now she was here in his arms. He could no longer imagine life without her, in love before he ever realized he was falling. Of course, he was a poor match for her. But, Kaidan wasn't one to let anything stand between him and what he wanted. 

Natalia stirred in her sleep, rolling on to her back. Now, that was just unfair. How was a man to resist something so beautiful? The medallion he had made for her hung between her full breasts, and the sweetness of it made his chest hurt. He dropped light kisses from her shoulder to her ear, nibbling on the shell of it.

"Natalia, sweetheart, please tell me you’re awake."

Her eyes opened slowly. She smiled as she saw him beside her. 

"Morning Kai. Sleep well?"

"Never better." 

Her hand came up to cup his face and his eyes closed as he leaned into her touch. The woman was a marvel, and if she ever realized how tightly she had him wrapped around her fingers, he was doomed. He worked his way down her body, enjoying the way her skin glowed like pearl in the morning light. His kisses around her navel made her laugh and then sigh as he moved still lower.

"Kai? Darling, what are y-- oh gods…" Kaidan smiled as his tongue slid deeper into her warmth and wetness. She was sweeter than any fruit he'd tasted, richer than his favorite spiced wine and he wanted more. His hands wrapped around her thighs, feeling the muscles quiver as he used his teeth at the crease of her thigh. He would never forget seeing her like this, eyes half closed, lost in the way he was loving her. He slipped a finger into her carefully, enjoying the grip of her body as he stroked her. He took his time, slowly sliding her towards that keen edge of pleasure, enjoying the way she trembled under his hands. Her quiet moans turned to high-pitched keening that became almost a shriek as her back bowed with her climax. He wanted every morning like this forever, but he knew it was a long shot with their lives so uncertain. So, he vowed to enjoy every moment they were given. 

He moved back up beside her and was met with a voracious kiss. Her hand drifted lazily downwards, her elegant fingers stroking him teasingly, then more deliberately. Her grip was cool against his overheated skin. He was torn between his desperate desire to keep kissing her and his need to breathe. 

“I’ve never done this before, you know. Been with someone who just let me touch them so freely.” Her voice was a languid drawl that danced down his spine like moon sugar. His mind was in such complete disarray that he could barely form a coherent sentence. He was okay with that as long as she didn’t stop what she was doing.

“Please, touch all you want. Just. Don’t. Stop.”

The satisfied smile that bloomed over her face was the last straw. The pleasure became a knife edge in his gut and he spilled himself over her fingers. Kaidan kissed her again, slowly, and tried to regain control of himself. He had a feeling it was a lost cause.

They finally forced themselves out of bed and into the bath, which cost them another hour. Eventually, they packed up their gear and prepared to leave. The horn had to be returned to the Greybeards. Also, they needed to talk to Delphine again. He smirked a little at Natalia’s slight wince as she swung herself into her horse’s saddle.

“You okay there, Talia?” 

Her expression said she knew what he was smiling about and revenge would be hers soon. He didn’t doubt it one bit. She could cut his intelligence in half with just a smile. He mounted his own horse and followed her out onto the road. 

The Greybeards were happy to have the Horn back in their possession, but they didn't linger long at the monastery. Kaidan knew Natalia was anxious to get back to Riverwood and find out what Delphine knew. It was a lucky thing they left when they did; as the Seven Thousand Steps had become more perilous than usual with the early autumn snows descending from the peak of the mountain. 

They reached Riverwood on the fourth day, and stabled their horses nearby. The Sleeping Giant was unchanged, of course. Orgmar was as terse and monosyllabic as ever behind the bar. Delphine was back in her “Innkeeper” guise as she moved about the main room, wiping up spilled ale. She smiled at them as they entered the inn.

“So, the Dragonborn returns.”

“Good to see you still alive, Delphine. You owe me answers.”

“Come with me.”

They followed the older woman down to the basement room. Kaidan took a seat in the corner chair, letting Natalia take the lead. 

“So, the dragon situation...what can we do about it? I mean, besides killing the various dragons.”

“First, we have to figure out who’s responsible for the dragon resurgence. My best bet is the Thalmor. If there’s trouble afoot, they are probably causing it. Or they know who is. An empire weakened by dragon attacks and civil war is definitely to their advantage.”

“How do we find out what they know?”

“Simple. We steal their files. The dossiers they keep on any issues, threats, whatever. And when I say ‘simple’, I mean extremely risky, but necessary. Elenwen, the Thalmor ambassador, is hosting a party at the embassy for the rich and influential in Skyrim. We’re fortunate that they don’t know you yet, or the threat that you represent. We can get you into one of those parties, then you slip away and get the information we need. 

Kaidan stared at Delphine in utter shock. Was she seriously considering sending Natalia into a den of Thalmor butchers? She had to be completely mad. He stood up and joined Natalia at the table, unable to stay quiet this time. 

“Delphine, are you crazy? Sneak into an embassy party, hobnob with the elite and then, what, break into Elenwen’s office and make off with her files? You realize what will happen when she gets caught?”

Delphine met Natalia’s gaze directly. 

“The key part of the plan is not to get caught.”

“Naturally.”

“To answer your handsome companion’s question though, yes, I know what happens if you get caught. I wouldn’t ask this if there was any other way.”

Natalia’s face was pale but resolute.

“I have an inside man at the Embassy. A dark elf named Malborn; hates the Thalmor as much as I do. They killed his family in one of their “purges”. Meet him at the inn in Solitude; he can smuggle some weapons inside for you. You won’t be able to take anything in with you. Embassy security is tighter than a drum. Whatever you can’t live without, give to him. Then, put on your fanciest dress and meet the transport outside of Solitude.“

“Let me go with her, Delphine.”

Something that could pass for sympathy moved over the older woman’s face. 

“You know you can’t go. Nor can I. The only reason Natalia  _ can _ is that while they may know of the Dragonborn, they don’t know her face. She has a better chance of pulling this off than anyone else.”

Natalia placed a hand on his arm, turning him towards her. 

“Kai. I have to do this. I know it’s scary, I know what’s at stake. But we need this information if we want to stop Alduin from burning down the world.”

“I know. I know. But can’t you just let me argue with her for a while?”

Natalia smiled at him and moved into his space, wrapping her arms around his waist. His own came up to embrace her fully, pulling her up so that he could lay his forehead against hers. She was one of the smartest, most capable women he had ever met. He would not let her down by failing to believe in her now.

Delphine cleared her throat, interrupting the moment. 

“You should probably get on your way to Solitude. It’s a long journey.”

Kaidan stepped back from Natalia, but kept an arm about her shoulders, for his own comfort more than hers. Delphine was right. Besides, the sooner they got started, the sooner they’d be done.

The three-day ride to Solitude was quieter than usual. Kaidan was at a loss for what to say or do. If Natalia got caught by the Thalmor...well it didn’t bear thinking about. Needless to say, the very idea of it had turned his gut into a mass of knots. But he knew better than to try and talk her out of it. Dragonborn or not, the woman was obstinate as a mountain goat. 


	22. Fine Feathers

Natalia had never been to Solitude before. The capital of Skyrim was much larger than Whiterun or Riverwood. She might have enjoyed the visit more had it not been for the task hanging over her head. They were to meet Malborn in the Winking Skeever that night, and the following afternoon she would board the carriage that would take her up the mountain to the Thalmor Embassy. She had no idea how Delphine had gotten the invitation, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to know. Her current concern was finding a dress to wear to a party given by High Elves. So here they were outside of a shop called Radiant Raiment. Kaidan held the door for her to enter and she tried to give him a smile. Natalia knew he was unhappy about the plan, but he hadn’t asked her to back out. He had better reason than most to know what would happen if she screwed up, and she knew he was afraid for her. There just wasn’t anything she could do about it. 

The young women who ran the shop weren’t very friendly, but their wares were of excellent quality. Natalia chose a deep red velvet gown, with a silk bodice embroidered in black thread. It was easily the most expensive garment she’d ever owned, along with soft boots of black lambskin. She wished dearly that she was buying such a dress for almost any other reason. They returned to the room they had rented at the inn and she tried on her dress to make sure of the fit. It was a little long, but she could hem it easily. 

Kaidan came in with a tray of food and drink for their dinner and stopped in the doorway when he saw her in the dress. She twirled a bit to show off.

“What do you think?”

It took him a minute to answer, his eyes never leaving her.

“I’ve never seen a woman as lovely as you are, Talia.” He set the tray on the table and caught her hands in his.

“I picked this one because it’s your colors.”

“My colors?”

“Yes. Red, for your tattoo and your eyes. Black for your hair. I can’t take you with me, so I’ll take this as a token.”

He smiled at her and she touched the side of his face gently. He pulled her into his arms as his expression grew somber. 

“Promise me that you’ll be careful. No uncalculated risks, okay? I know I can’t stop you from doing what you’re meant to do, but if anything happened...I don’t know what I’d do.”

His words had the simultaneous effect of making her heart swell to bursting and breaking it just a little. He’d never declared any love for her, but Natalia knew he wouldn’t be so concerned if he was only “fond” of her. 

“I promise to be extra careful. After I leave, take my stuff to the Sleeping Giant and wait for me there. Delphine will give you a room. I’ll head there once I’m finished with this.”

“All right, I’ll be there waiting. Just make sure you come back to me, Dragonborn.”

“Alduin himself couldn’t stop me.”

He released her and helped her take off the lovely dress. She stood there in her lace trimmed undergarments and smiled at him suggestively. Shaking his head in smiling resignation, his hands moved to the laces at her waist as she struggled with the button on his trousers. They could eat dinner later. 

The tavern at the Winking Skeever was crowded with people that night. Natalia wrapped her best bow and arrows and a handful of potions in an oilcloth sack and made her way to a back table where a lone Dunmer sat. He seemed tense as he sipped his ale; Natalia hoped he was as trustworthy as Delphine claimed. He looked up at her as she approached.

“Malborn? Our mutual friend sent me.”

His almond-shaped eyes scanned her quickly.. 

“ _ You’re _ who she sent? I hope she knows what she’s doing. I can smuggle some stuff in for you with the party supplies, she told you that?”

“Yes. Take this please,” Natalia handed over the sack she carried. He took it from her, feeling the shape of the bow inside. His face seemed to relax a bit.

“All right. I’ll take good care of it. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

He stood and gave her a brief bow before slipping away into the crowd. Natalia made her way back upstairs to where Kaidan waited for her. It was early still, and she didn’t plan to waste these precious hours. 

They slept late the next day, both trying to pretend that they wouldn’t soon be parted. They wandered the streets of Solitude, taking in the sights, visiting the Temple of the Divines. A new museum was under construction and they laughed when they saw the name of it. The Dragonborn Gallery sounded so pompous, but Natalia made a note to make a return visit sometime after it was finished. It would be interesting to learn more about the Dragonborn who had come before her.

That afternoon, she ordered a hot bath in their room. She bathed and washed her hair with the perfumed soap she’d brought from Elysium. Rather than braiding her dark hair as usual, she combed it and let it dry by the fire as she hemmed the dress she would wear. 

Kaidan helped her with the buttons at the back of the dress. He smiled at her as she twirled around in the fancy boots.

“You’re beautiful. They won’t know what hit them.”

“Well, let’s hope. Time to go?’

“Aye, it’s time.”

They walked hand in hand to the stables where they met the Embassy transport. Natalia offered her a thin smile and squeezed Kaidan’s hand as he helped her into the carriage.

“Be on your guard, Talia.”

“Always. Wish me luck.”

“Talos guide you.”

The carriage pulled away and Natalia watched Solitude get smaller and smaller as they ascended the mountain road to the Thalmor Embassy.


	23. Valley of the Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once more into the breach...

The High Elven guards were polite, if not friendly. They looked over her invitation and graciously allowed her to enter the embassy. There was an Imperial sitting on a stone outside. He had complimented her dress and then asked her to bring him an ale, even though he’d clearly already had a few. She saw the guards roll their eyes and address him by name as they shepherded him inside to the party. Obviously, the man was a regular at these affairs.

As parties went, it wasn’t exactly lively. The Thalmor ambassador, Elenwen, was cool to the point of frosty. The other guests were Jarls from other holds, and people probably prominent in business, since Delphine had told her this was the purpose of these little soirees. 

Malborn was behind the bar. He seemed tense, but that was apparently normal--no one else seemed to notice. The man she had met earlier sat on a nearby bench, sorrowfully gazing into his empty wine goblet. 

“You look thirsty.”

“I am, but that damn Elenwen has told them to cut me off. Says I drink too much. How else am I supposed to survive a party this boring?”

Natalia walked over to the bar. To tell the truth, she could use a little liquid courage herself. Malborn greeted her as he would anyone else, then dropped his voice to a whisper.

“You need to create a distraction, then I’ll open this door behind the bar and you can slip into the back and through the kitchens. You’ll have to go across the courtyard to Elenwen’s personal quarters.”

She nodded once and asked him for a bottle of brandy. She took one swig for herself, then turned back to the crowd. Maybe her new friend could help her out. 

“I brought you a drink.” She passed him the bottle of brandy she carried. His whole face lit up with a wide smile.

“Finally, someone with fine sense in this room full of sycophants. If there’s anything I can do for you, just ask.”

Natalia sat next to him swiftly and leaned in close, her voice quiet and urgent.

“I do need your help, actually. Can you cause a scene? Get everyone’s attention?”

His smile was even more radiant. 

“You’ve come to the right place. Causing a scene is my finest skill.”

“Excellent. This bottle is all yours.”

The man stood, and Natalia slipped into the shadows near the bar. She took deep breaths, and tried to focus her thoughts on what she needed to accomplish.

Malborn escorted her through the kitchens, and showed her where he had stashed her weapons. She slung her quiver over her shoulder and strung her bow swiftly, then slipped out into the back hallway. Voices in the first room she came by had her frozen by the wall, listening intently. Embassy guards on a break. How many were there? She counted three voices. Crouched behind the open door, she waited to see what they would do next. 

The first guard emerged. He looked like a candle flame in his golden elven armour. She put an arrow in the back of his neck before he could see her. His companion ran out to see what happened and caught her next arrow in the throat. She peered through a small crack in the door. The Thalmor mage inside was smarter than the other two. Lightning crackled in his fingers as he approached the doorway. Natalia shoved the door, whacking him in the face and throwing him off balance. Her first frantic shot missed, but the second met its mark. She pulled all three bodies into the room and stood in the center, almost disbelieving what she’d done. These weren’t just some draugr in a crypt, they were...people. Elves. Whatever. They had lives and families and her breathing started to hitch in her lungs so she shut her eyes. They would have killed her just as easily had they seen her, or worse. She needed to get this job done. She stole the Thalmor’s robes and a dagger off one of the guards. She stuffed the pockets with the potions she’d brought; hoped the hooded robes would make her less conspicuous, although she was too short to pass as an Altmer. She retrieved her arrows and slipped out of the room, closing the door behind her. 

The next door took her outside into the courtyard, across which, according to Malborn, lay Elenwen’s personal office and quarters. It was a dark night, but the torches lit the space fairly well. A walkway bordered by stone walls ran around the perimeter of the space. The dense evergreen vegetation would give her some cover. There was one guard near the entrance of the building. His cloak made it difficult to shoot him from this distance, so she snuck around to the other side of it and stabbed him from behind. She dragged his body into the nearby bushes. The burst of a lightning spell to her left had her throwing herself into the shadows near the building. A Thalmor mage approached, obviously not fooled by her paltry disguise. He paused by the entrance, peering into the darkness. Natalia fumbled in her pocket for the invisibility potion as she crept around to the other side. Two swigs and she was the darkness itself. The mage never saw her blade, but he definitely felt it; she pulled his body into the brush with that of his compatriot.

The door was, very fortunately, unlocked. Natalia slipped inside and was alarmed to find herself in a large open room. The potion she’d drunk wouldn’t last too much longer. There was a guard across the room who would surely see her if they turned around. There was an open door to the left and she slipped behind it; listening to the voices in the smaller room.

“I need that money now. I brought you the information you wanted. I have expenses.” She could hear one man, a bit whiny, inside what she assumed was an office.

“Yes, and we still haven’t gotten much out of him as to what we actually want to know.” Female, High Elven definitely. Natalia lost any pity for the whiny voice. Selling people out to the Thalmor was just reprehensible. The guard on the far side of the room was still engrossed in whatever they were doing, so she used the opportunity to sneak past the door and around the corner. 

The lamps were dark on this side, and she almost tripped over a chest that sat on the floor behind a desk. She tried the lid, and was delighted that it was unlocked. Leather- bound books were stacked inside, bindings facing up, their names in gold script. Her heart pounded in her chest, were these--? She conjured a small magelight so she could read them. Delphine’s name stood out, and then Ulfric Stormcloak. A satchel sat on the shelf of the bookcase opposite her, so she grabbed it and all the dossiers she could fit inside. There was a report on the desk, apparently abandoned in the act of reading. A quick perusal told her it was the information Delphine wanted about the dragons, so she grabbed that too. She extinguished her light, anxiously looking around for the guard. Now, all she had to do was get out in one piece.

The voices of the two arguing were still going, so she moved quickly down the hall to a door at the end. Maybe itthis would take her out of this place. The staircase on the other side was surprisingly well-lit. She tiptoed down the stairs, keeping her ears tuned for any sounds. As she reached the bottom, she could hear the people speaking. And then a sound she had wished she would never hear again--the swish and crack of a lash. She’d managed to find the torture room of the Thalmor Embassy. Crouching just inside the stairwell, she craned her neck to see who was in the room. One soldier and one Thalmor agent. Their unfortunate victim was inside a cage. She nocked an arrow and waited for the soldier to move. Her shot took him in the throat and she blanched at the spray of blood. She was never going to be good at this. The Thalmor turned at the sound of his companion’s garbled cry. 

“Come out! I know you’re here.”

“All right, then.” Natalia decided to face the music head on. She came out of her hiding spot and stayed low, flinging lightning across the room at the taller man. The flash of a fire spell had her dodging quickly, but not quite fast enough--the flames caught the edge of the robe she wore and it began to burn. An ice spell stopped the fire, but gave her opponent time to close in on her, this time with a sword. A solid kick that she turned to take on the thigh instead of her stomach and a slash that cut through the clothing she wore to score her shoulder made her hiss in pain. She pulled hard on her magicka; she had to end this fight  _ now _ . Any further delay would only increase the chance of discovery. The lightning she summoned in one hand pushed him away from her, and the fire spell she cast with her other hand blasted the Altmer in the chest. She picked up the sword he’d dropped and put it through his heart, trying to make it quick. She dropped to her knees beside the body, breathing hard, fighting back the pain of her injuries. 

There was a desk and a chest on the far wal; she hastily searched through both for the keys to the cage. No sense leaving the poor soul to be brutalized further. That search yielded little, but a quick search of the guard turned up a ring of keys. She worked quickly to find the one that unlocked the cage door. The man raised his head with fear in his eyes, which turned to confusion when she released the shackles that held him.

“What’re you…?”

“Shhh. No time. We need to get out of here.”

“Sure, yeah. There’s a trap door over there. I think they use it to get rid of bodies. Bound to lead somewhere.”

“It’ll have to do. Why’d they have you in here, by the way?”

“They snatched me in Riften. Seem to think I know where someone named Esbern is hiding.”

Esbern. She’d seen that name on one of the dossiers she’d grabbed.

“ _ Do _ you know?”

“If it is him, and I ain’t sure about that, he’s down in the Ratway in Riften.”

“Right. Well, let’s get out of here.”

She had to try several keys before she could unlock the trap door. She sent the guy down the ladder first and followed after, closing the door behind them. They stood on the ledge, contemplating the drop to the cavern floor. The tunnel which lead out of the embassy was to the right. But between them and the entrancel was a Frost Troll. This was not her lucky night. 

She sent a weak jet of fire at it, which both singed it and made it angry. She pulled her bow and started putting arrows in the creature, but they didn’t seem to make much of a dent. Finally, she cast a fire rune on her last arrow, which pierced the beast and set it alight. 

“Go ahead and make a run for it, I’ll finish it off.”

Her companion dropped down and darted into the tunnel while the frost troll raged. Natalia dropped down with a dagger she’d purloined and approached from the rear. Dodging a few blind swipes, she shoved her blade into its throat and ran for the tunnel. She no longer cared if it died;, she had to be gone before the guards found her handiwork in the torture room.

The tunnel emerged onto a snow-covered hillside. She stumbled away from the embassy and picked up a wagon path that lead down the mountain. The sun was rising, and the skies were a pearly gray as she made her way towards Solitude. 

The snow tapered off as she descended from the mountain tops, and in the distance she could see the Blue Palace of Solitude. Natalia clutched her satchel and tried to concentrate on the outline of the city below. Her shoulder ached and she was limping a bit where that bastard Thalmor had kicked her. Hopefully, the apothecary would have a healing potion she could use; her magicka was tapped. She’d never used two spells at once, and it had drained her reserves very quickly. 

It was almost noon when she approached the gates of the city. She ignored the odd looks she was given, chalking them up to the fact that she was wearing Thalmor robes over fancy dress. Also, she likely looked like she’d lost a fight with a cave bear. Stumbling to the apothecary, she spent a few coins on a healing draught. The bitter taste made her grimace, but she drained it regardless. 

Back out in the city courtyard, she made her way to the stables to find a carriage for hire.

“Where are you headed, miss?”

“Riverwood.”

“That’ll be fifteen septims.”

She passed him the last of her gold and scrambled into the carriage. No one else was traveling with her, so she stretched out across the bench and fell asleep immediately. When she woke, it was dark as pitch. Lanterns mounted on the carriage rails threw their weak light onto the surrounding foliage. From the looks of it, they were somewhere in southern Hjaalmarch. Still a ways to go before they would make it to Whiterun hold, and longer still to Riverwood.

“There’s a waterskin somewhere in the back there if you’re thirsty, and a few apples if you’re hungry. You’ve been sleeping for a long time.” The carriage driver glanced back at her with a sympathetic smile. She rummaged under the benches until she found the supplies he mentioned. This was why horseback was better for long trips. You could stop, rest and cook food if you wanted. Still, she was glad enough for both the driver’s foresight and his company. Being alone was overrated. 

The roll and sway of the carriage along the roads was a familiar comfort. Natalia’s mind scrolled through the events of the last twelve hours or so, looking for ways she could have done better. She’d never killed so many. Ever. Draugr didn’t count. As much as she tried to tell herself that she had done so for the good of Skyrim, even the good of Tamriel, she still felt vaguely sick about it. Sighing in the darkness, she felt for her satchel and laid down once more, willing herself to put it aside for now and rest again. It had been a very long day.


	24. Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not keen on this chapter title, but I couldn't seem to think of one I liked better so...

Kaidan sat at the bar of The Sleeping Giant, nursing the ale Orgmar had poured for him. Natalia should have been here by now and she wasn't. It had been almost two days and Kaidan didn't like it. If anything happened to her at the hands of those psychotic Altmer he was going to burn the whole damn place to the ground. He found Delphine in her basement room, studying a map. She looked up when he slapped his hands down on the table; it was to her credit she didn’t flinch at the loud interruption. 

"She's been gone too long. I'm going after her."

"Kaidan, no. The Thalmor know you, and you'll wind up captured right alongside her. And then I'll have to come after both of you, and we'll all three be dead. Which is useless to our purpose and to her."

"I don't care. I will tear that place apart till I find her and bring her home."

"Look, I get that you love her. I do.” 

"Do you though? If they caught her..."

"I know. Which is why I know that going in there all man-on-fire is a terrible idea. Have some faith in Natalia, Kaidan."

"I have all the faith in the world in her. And none at all in the Thalmor."

Kaidan paced the floor of the small room. He was sure Natalia had gotten into the embassy party with no problem. That was the easiest part of this whole mission. But even with the travel time, surely she should have been back in Riverwood by now. Once she got out of the embassy, she just had to make it to Solitude. Unless she was injured. Or captured. Or dead. He swallowed the lump that wanted to rise in his throat. He told himself that a woman as stubborn as his Talia wasn't so easily killed. Especially by some high and mighty Elves who were no better than they should be. 

As soon as she got back, he was asking her to marry him. He'd never considered it a possibility before, but he wanted, needed her in his life, permanently. Natalia wasn't just the woman he loved—she was his home, his place to belong. He just hoped he got the chance to actually tell her so. If she left this world not knowing, he couldn't bear it.

"You seem to have a lot of nervous energy. Why don't you chop some wood? The inn could use it and we'll pay you for your trouble."

He stopped the retort on the tip of his tongue. Delphine was right. Worrying wasn't going to bring her back any sooner. Might as well do something useful.

He chopped firewood like it was his only job. The sun was high and despite the chilly wind, he got warm enough to remove most of his armour. It was late afternoon when the hired carriage made its stop as usual and Kaidan held his breath. Was there…? Yes, there was a passenger. He saw a figure in the black hooded robes of the Thalmor stand and disembark. His heart fell to his feet. Surely, it didn’t mean that Natalia--? The mysterious figure favored their right leg as they walked down the cobblestone road. He had only a moment to consider that they were too short for an Altmer before the hood was pushed off and back. The light of the setting sun caught the dark curls of Natalia. She had returned to him. 

He didn't remember throwing the axe aside. Or almost stepping on the chicken that roamed the town. But he would remember the luminous expression on his love's face until he was taken to Sovngarde. He caught her in his arms and crushed her lips to his in a bruising kiss, not caring who saw them. She tasted of the bitter healing potion she had taken. The Thalmor robes she wore were rent and burned, but she was alive and she was here. That was all that mattered.

Her green eyes sparkled up at him as he set her on her feet. 

"You're late."

Her laughter echoed like bells. He felt drunk. Or very high.

"Easily in but not so easily out, as the mudcrab said of the boiling pot."

"Well, let's get you inside. Delphine was worried."

"Were you worried?"

"Nah, I knew you'd be fine." They climbed the steps to the inn and he stopped her just before the door.

"Okay, I lied to you just then."

"Okay…"

"I was worried to death. Delphine had to talk me out of going after you myself. Longest two days of my life."

"Ah, poor Kaidan. I'm sorry I worried you." She pressed close to him, stroking his face with a tender touch. He lowered his head to rest on the top of hers and just held her. His brave and beautiful dragon was home. 

Delphine was happy that Natalia made it out alive. She poured some wine for all three of them and toasted Natalia's success. The files that they had been after were safe in their hands now. They had information to work with. 

"The Thalmor aren't responsible for the dragons, but they think the Blades are. They're looking for a man named Esbern. According to the man they were torturing, he might be in Riften."

Delphine eyes widened in surprise. 

"Esbern is alive? I thought they'd killed him ages ago. If he is alive and in Riften, I'd wager he's hiding in the Ratway. That's where I'd hide if it were me."

"Who's Esbern? Another Blade friend of yours?" Kaidan asked as he refilled their glasses.

"He was a Blades archivist. Charged with preserving the knowledge not only of the Blades, but of the Dragonguard who were our predecessors. If anyone can help us figure out how to defeat Alduin, he can."

"Well, I guess he's our next target then. But I need to get home first. I stopped in Solitude for a basic healing potion, but I didn't come through quite as unscathed as I'd have liked. You have my gear, I hope?"

"There in that chest. I can imagine you want to get out of those clothes. I'll give you some privacy. There's warm water in the jug by the wash basin."

Delphine went up the stairs and left them alone. Kaidan didn't wait for a word before he was unfastening the awful black robes. They were unworthy of her. Also, he wanted to evaluate her injuries. He had seen her limp as she had walked from the carriage. The heavy hooded cloak fell away, revealing her scarlet gown underneath. As she slipped out of the battered dress, he saw some bruises and burns. One particularly nasty cut had her hissing at him as he brushed over her shoulder. 

"One of those golden armoured bastards got me with his sword. Luckily, the blade wasn't poisoned."

"How did he fare?"

"Dead. I killed them, Kai. I killed so many." Her voice trembled now, the shock wearing off. Natalia wasn't a natural born killer, and she'd pay a price for what she'd done. All he could do was help her through as best he could. He stroked her hair away from her face. 

"It's a terrible choice to have to make--your life for another's. But it's not as though they gave you any other options."

"I know. It's just...I don't know. I got what we needed. I got out. I made it back to you. That's what's important to me."

"Aye. To me as well. Let's go home, what do you say?"

She fastened the last buckle on her familiar black ring mail and slipped the hood over her tangled hair. They emerged to find Delphine had left them some sweet rolls as a parting gift. They scooped them up and made their way out of the inn, munching the pastry as they made their way home. 

As they walked, she told him about the mission. 

"I found a file on Akaviri settlements in Skyrim. You should read it. I think it might have some information that could help you in your search. Remind me when we get home and I'll get it out of my pack."

"Sure. But I want you healed and resting before we worry about files. They've waited this long, they can wait a bit longer."

The moons Masser and Secunda had risen in the sky, their pearly light shining on the rough stone road that they walked. He was enjoying the cold autumn air and the quiet night when he felt Natalia slip her hand into his, twining their sticky fingers together. He smiled down at the woman beside him. The world may be tearing itself asunder, but right here, it was perfect.


	25. Coda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part of the journey is the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *tiny bit of NSFW, tiny bit of Avengers reference in the summary  
> Also, my heartfelt thanks to everyone who read, left comments and kudos. I appreciate you sticking with my story to the end and hope it was as much fun for you as it was for me.  
> Extra special thanks to my beta MinP1072 for corralling the commas and listening to me bang on about the lore and the mods and all the rest, I'm truly grateful to have such a friend.

Natalia sipped spiced wine as she relaxed in the warm water. They'd gotten home and she'd no more than dropped her cloak and her satchel before Kaidan was hustling her into the bath. She had to admit it was helping. The lavender and fire salt lotion she had set aside for after her bath would help heal her bruises and sore muscles.

Later, she laid quietly on top of the warm blankets in her bed. Their bed, really. She smiled at the idea of waking up to Kai's smile, of falling asleep listening to him breathe. Kaidan poured some of the lotion into his large hands. He started at her calves, working the healing compound into her skin, moving up to her thighs. Then he shifted to her shoulders, careful to avoid the now partially healed laceration, and stroked down her back. She shivered at the feel of his calloused hands smoothing over her skin. 

"None of that now, you're injured and in no shape for that business."

"But Kai…" She turned onto her back, arching just a bit. He was a sucker for her breasts, and she knew it. It wasn't very likely she could talk him into making love tonight, but she could make him think about it. Sure enough, his eyes darkened and his hands flexed at his sides. 

"You are a menace, you know that?"

She smiled at him benignly.

"Aye, I do." 

Instead of withdrawing as she expected, he poured a bit more lotion on to his palms. He began at her feet again, rubbing her tired arches until she moaned. She really needed new boots. He continued to her legs and then, instead of moving to her shoulders, he lightened his touch, stroking her belly, her breasts. Using his thumbs and then his mouth on her nipples until she begged him for relief. 

His hand swept down to the now damp curls between her thighs. Two fingers parted her, while a third slid inside of her. He stroked gently, steadily. His thumb found her swollen pearl and circled it slowly. He worked her with his fingers and sweet, hot kisses. She twisted helplessly under his ministrations, whispered words dissolving into wordless moans. He added a second finger to the one sliding against her inner walls, curling slightly to rub against a new spot, swallowing her gasp and high-pitched wail. Her whole body was drawn tighter than her bowstring, quivering and desperate until, with a twist and thrust of his fingers, he sent her flying into oblivion. 

She opened her eyes again as the fog of pleasure lifted. He was still there, turning down the lamp and removing his clothing. She admired the ripple of muscle as his shirt came off and his trousers dropped to the floor. He was still aroused, impressively so. 

"C'mere. Let me take care of you, Kai."

He turned and smiled as he folded down the bedclothes and climbed in beside her.

"You take care of me by getting your rest and healing. The rest of it can wait."

"Why are you so good to me, Kai?"

"Well, probably because I'm in love with you."

“Wait, what?”

“You doubting me, Dragonborn? You shouldn’t.”

The air she was breathing seemed to vanish with his words. He loved her? How long had she been waiting for him to say those words to her? If this was some dream, she never wanted to wake. She stared at him, unable to speak.

"You okay, love? I didn’t mean to just blurt it out like that. But you know I’m no good at this stuff.”

His hands cupped her face, thumbs stroking her cheeks as he smiled at her. No good, he’d said? As far as she was concerned, it was perfect.

"I-I’m...fine. I love you too." 

He smirked at her, kissed her briefly and turned to put out the light. 

"I was wondering when you'd figure that out. Sweet dreams, love."

Natalia turned in his embrace and snuggled into his warmth. It was good to be home.


End file.
